It's not a Joke

During the workshop for children from divorced families, I flashed the myth and truth on the screen which reads "Myth 2 - I can get mum and dad back again". I asked for feedback how many of them believed so. and then discussed what made them think that way. After that I flashed on the screen the truth which reads:

 " Truth 2- No matter how hard you try you can't get your mom and dad back together again"

One vocal 8 year old girl immediately responded "That's so mean"

No really knowing the context she made this remark I softened my voice to ask why she said that.

She replied, "It's so mean to say that"

After a slight pause and touching my heart I asked " It hurts to hear that is it?" She nodded.

Now I have to tell the children to accept the hard truth. Earlier in the session I gave an example of what the word 'myth' means. I told the kids it's like believing that Santa Claus will deposit a present for children every Christmas. All the children laughed in agreement that is not true.

I then leached on this example to explain that the earlier we accept the truth the faster it is for us to get over the pain. Using my normal library story telling drama I enacted the frustration of a child who year after year hung on to the belief that Santa Claus will deliver a present and feeling disappointed and angry. Instead the child should just accept the truth and think of other means to get the desired Christmas present.

Reflecting and writing this I feel I have used a very good metaphor and deserve a pat on the back. This is good resourcing for me because I had walked out of the workshop drained with a dry throat and bit of headache. It is really not easy to hold the attention of 7 primary school children for  2 hours discussing a subject which hurts them to the core and perhaps wish to forget. I have also observed that the children are really very precocious. At one juncture when I was going through a list of common worries that children from divorced families have, a child remarked "Now I have more things to worry about".

Conducting this type of workshop is a far cry from the freely expressive story telling session at the library where you step out feeling light and smiling. Even there it is necessary to hold the attention of the children for half an hour albeit in merriment. At the divorce workshops however you have to ensure a checklist of topics prescribed by MSF is covered and the poor kids have to attend three 2 hour sessions over 3 weeks. For one who is so used to fooling around at story telling sessions I have to tone down, be sensitive and stop being a CLOWN, for divorce is not a JOKE.