Defined at 65

Most countries use age 65 as a definition of an older person.

Well, I have just recently been defined as one and was promptly reminded to feel like one when I suffered a muscle strain at the lower back after fitness class as well as a short bout of vertigo a few days later. I tried to recall whether my mother had these problems when she was my age. As I recalled I realize I am beginning to resemble her behaviour at old age in an increasing number of ways.

I used to think the table top at my mum's bedside was really cluttered with medicine bottles, pills, creams, medicated oil and lots of other knick-knacks. I wondered why she couldn't put them in the drawers below. Now the reading lamp at my own bedside table is fighting for space with an open box consisting a tube of cream and a bottle of medicated oil for rheumatism plus another bottle of medicated oil for wind in the stomach. It is placed there for easy reach when my sleep is disturbed by dull aches. In addition a small zip bag provides remedy for sinus headache and blocked nose. A long wooden back massage roller stands ready for hammering my back for relief. All these have to be within reach to facilitate a quick remedy as it is not easy to fall back to sleep when awake for too long, not when you are at my age.

When I complained about my ailments to my children I often get remarks alluding to my negligence in taking care of my health, especially my sedentary lifestyle. This upsets me but now I remember chiding my mum quite a fair bit too when she was in her 70s's including her lack of a balanced diet and her reluctance to go for physiotherapy.

My mum was an ageist and would hide her age. She even forgo using her senior citizen discount card. I didn't know I was one until the mother of a child approached me after my story telling session at the library. She thanked me and shared her daughter's remark " 我喜欢听奶奶讲故事" ( I love to hear 'granny' tell stories ) . I acknowledged her compliments downheartedly.

Well there is one difference between my mum and me. She would take great trouble to groom herself no matter her age. This is one aspect I need to follow but have not really taken the trouble to do so. As I grow older I became less worried about how people view me outside of work. I guess this is also partly attributable to no one noticing a lady of my age. As Mary Pipher , author of "Women Rowing North" said " Invisibility can sometimes be freeing....With invisibility we have permission not to worry so much about appearances or proper behaviour. We can be silly, quirky, and free to do as we please."

Having said that I must be my own checker. I do not need to dress to make a statement or follow the fashion but at least I must be neat, presentable and even a bit stylish  in my very own eyes. 65 comes with privileges, not only those rendered by the government but also the freedom emerging quietly within oneself to devote more time and energy to achieve one's own happiness.