Not in the same league

Spent the last weekend finishing a trashy but funny book instead of the much needed spring cleaning. "Crazy Rich Asians" is an over exaggerated stereo typing fiction about the the "old money" rich Asians in Singapore, HK and Malaysia and their prejudices and condescending attitudes towards people outside their league and even the "new money" rich and especially intense towards mainland Chinese. The story is a bit far too long but is quite funny with some dialect  (cantonese, hokkien) and Singlish including swear language being thrown in. The setting is familiar as the story takes place mainly in Singapore. Still I am quite puzzled how it is in the best selling list in NewYork. Oh, the author grows up in Singapore but now lives in NY. Quite frankly if foreigners associate the characters with the Singapore masses it is not very flattering. though some semblance of it exists like there is nothing in our lives and conversation except food, branded bags and property prices.

Still it gives a glimpse of the lavish lifestyle of the tycoon families, which most of us can never imagine even after discounting for exaggeration. The wisdom of this Chinese phrase  "  竹門對竹門，木門對木門  " (advocating family background compatibility in a marriage) constantly propped up in my mind. But what really hits me as so true is the prejudices people have towards others not of their league, and I think it is prevalent not only in the super wealthy but in every strata of society from the top to the middle in terms of wealth, education, sex orientation and race (including country of origin).

Here's a line from the book describing the prospects of ascending on the Shenzhen airport "land in the clusterfuck that is Shenzhen.......where we can wait in a custom line for the rest of the day with thirty thousand of your closet friends- the vast majority of whom have never heard of antiperspirant and won't share the same concept of personal space as you do". Yep this is just one very commonly felt irritant that most overseas Chinese have about their counterpart in mainland China. I myself have joined in conversations complaining about loud mouth foreigners in our trains.

In my story telling sessions at the NLB a frequent audience is a boy from India who is very quick to volunteer his opinion, sometimes sharing glimpses of his hometown. I notice every time he talks, some local parents in the room will cast him a disdainful "there he goes again" look. Then there are mainland Chinese mothers/grandmothers who force their little toddlers to sit through even though they may not understand a word of English sometimes causing disturbances much to the chagrin of our local parents.

Another line from the book "Astrid doesn't date in our stratosphere" describes how a female character is beyond reach of most males. This of course is no surprise as I have heard of many girls in Singapore who will not accept a single date from any male who is assessed to earn below a certain benchmark annual income. I have even heard of a case where a Singaporean girl named one of the reasons for breaking off with his boyfriend as him not achieving perfect scores for his A level exam despite him being a college graduate.

Outwardly a person can be kind and civil towards another but as long as one is condescending there is an element of "me higher than thou". Condescending attitude is defined as "patronizing superiority".The story also has a glimpse of how a recipient of such sympathy feels belittled and stifled.

All in all a good book for a good laugh as well as a check on our own attitude.