Yesterday I had a dream that probably sums up my feelings for the past year. In my dream I went back to work part time at my ex company. It was evening and I still had to redraft 2 papers, 2 big bundles of cheques to sign (actually that was never my job haha), and my in-tray was overflowing. I thought "hey this is crazy, I am supposed to work part-time". So I went to my ex-boss and told him that if he wanted me back part time he must let me go off at 6pm on those days I was working.
Then my dream switched to my son. It was morning and my son was sleeping at home. He had come back from camp late in the night whilst I was asleep. I was so happy.
Yes certain dreams are easy to interpret without Freudian psycho analysis. I actually still love parts of my former job and dream of returning to an utopian corporate minus the crazy hours, the stifling red tape and the monotony of certain routines (check signing?). The fact that I could give an ultimatum to my boss in my dream underscores a wish that I still have such leverage because of my abilities (this is an ego trip).
Oh the switch to the scene of my son. That's plain want of something. My son had called to say he will be on camp duty on New Year's Day. I feel sad for him and for myself as I was looking forward to have him around on the eve and on New Year day. (Daughter is thousands of miles away in US).
Hence that summarises what I went through in 2007. My resignation from my job gave rise to quite a lot of mixed feelings, relief yet loss, sense of freedom interspersed with boredom, excitement over new experiences mingled with nostalgia of good old days with my ex colleagues.
When my daughter left for overseas education and my son went into NS I had to learn to cope not only with a very quiet home; but also lending a patient ear to their new experiences and struggling to find the appropriate words of comfort for them.
Whatever my dreams are, I am definitely happy to continue with what I have embarked on, story telling, assisting in counselling, pursuing counselling course. I just need to explore further which area brings me more fulfilment. (Hey I think I really like to work with little kids, I get so much fun out of story telling. Some of you may want to try it out, you never know.) I have all the time to explore don't I? Haha!
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1 comment:
Hi Marn Har,
It is becoming a habit to return to your blog to learn from your thoughts.
I have found them to be written sensibly and certainly from your heart, which makes your blog stands out from the masses.
Keep up the good work. I have taken the liberty of telling my close friend to visit your blog to draw inspiration.
Take care and Happy New Year
Kim Soon
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