Caught in the Middle

 

I run workshops for children caught in parents' conflicting divorce, hence the workshop is called CIBC (Children caught in Between). At the same time I also practice sandplay therapy/counselling for children in emotional distress arising from parents' divorce. 

Recently I counselled a kid who had passive suicidal ideation when the court ordered supervised visits for the non custodial parent. The kid views the non custodial parent as a very bad person hence the fear and resistance to attend the visitations. The parents have fought for several years over custodian and visitation rights.

After several sessions I could sense the child crying out for mental space and freedom. It is as if she is shouting "Get me out of this hell hole" and begs to be left alone. My sympathies is with the child and I frown upon the court decision.

On the other hand, some of my colleagues have worked or are working with the non custodial parent. They told me of the grief and sadness expressed by the person being separated and having no access to the child. So you hear from the mother, the father or the child depending on who you are working with. You hear their version of the story, you hear their complaint, you hear their plight and you sense their pain.

When we discuss the case we tell the story of the person we are working with. In the end we conclude we are also 'Caught in the Middle'.