We have a mango tree that bears fruits once in a few years, plentiful when it does. So we distribute to neighbours and friends when we harvest. Most will accept with a smile and some small talk about gardening. There is this neighbour whose backyard is adjacent to ours. He usually doesn't express much appreciation, probably taking with a hidden squirm if I may describe it. This time round he remarked "Mangoes are really cheap. You can get one for less than a dollar". Well, we still believe in equal distribution around us.
There are people who are afraid of receiving gifts or favours from others. They may be very generous but will never accept anything be it objects or services from another person. I have an aunt who insists you take everything she offers but will never accept any in return. It can be quite infuriating because you feel somehow rejected.
I try to analyse this strange behaviour It is quite normal that we were taught from young never to accept gifts from strangers just in case there is some unwholesome motive underlying the gift. Maybe this warning is amplified in some people. Another reason could be the fear of being obligated ie. you owe the giver a favour. Yet another reason may be pride ie. not wanting to feel weak or vulnerable or in anyway lesser than the giver. So like when I was young I would refuse offers of expensive snacks or small toys from more well to do classmates or even a chauffeured ride from another.
About my neighbour, I think he has fears of intimacy. He is afraid of building closer connection. Maybe he is also worried after eating our mangoes he cannot throw our cat over the wall when she wanders into his territory.
As for me as I grew up I learnt to accept gifts graciously because I observed that people are happy and feel appreciated. It shows them their gift has touched me.
It's my gift to them too.
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