Saturday, December 18, 2021

And then the Real World

 

My previous blog was about paradigm shift in standard ways of living, the metaverse world as well as the lofty aim to transcend attachment, a bit like the mind darting everywhere.

My encounter with 2 children yesterday brings me back to thinking of the real world, the pain. I conducted a workshop session for children caught in between parents' divorce. A pair of brothers aged 8 and 6 in particular leave a lingering impression. The stark lack of childhood joy, zombie like sullen despair and the complete absence of childish fun or playfulness in the elder boy disturbs me. He is so young and yet  so lifeless. The younger boy is clearly not able to focus with very short attention span. Their parents divorce is extremely acrimonious fighting for their custody and the boys have not seen their father for months. It is quite frightening when both boys vouched repeatedly that they hate him. I can not imagine that at such a young age their minds are conditioned to hate a very significant person  who is supposed to provide support and love in their life. 

At yesterday's session the children were taught to recognize their feelings and learn strategies to cope with difficult feelings. They were also taught to disentangle themselves from their parents' conflict and that their job is just to do kid things. 

We do a survey after a 3 session workshop . It is ridiculous to expect in 6 hours kids will be able to adopt or master the coping strategies learnt. So it is not surprising for them to tick the "disagree" answer to questionnaire sentences like "I know I need not be caught in the middle between my parents" and "I feel less stressed about my parents' divorce".

It really strikes me that what these children need is some semblance of joy in their life, some degree of hope that better things will come, some restoration of spirited carefree childhood moments. 

It sets me thinking again about what I can do for them. Maybe I need to be more proactive in this very Real World.


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