Equal Distribution?

 In a online journal known as "MarketWatch" there is a column called "The Moneyist" which discusses the ethics and etiquette of financial affairs of people writing in for advice. Readers can also chip in to comment on top of the editor's response. The questions, the response as well as the comments make very entertaining reading.

In a recent query, XYZ wrote in to ask whether he has a right to feel angry about a situation he is in. Earlier on he bought his parents a vintage car as a gift but made them promised he would inherit it. As the car was not in tip top condition, his parents have to spend some money to upgrade it as well as to maintain it. He added that his parents aren't that well off. He later found out that without prior discussing with him, his parents promised his brother that all the money spent on the upgrade and maintenance would be deducted from his share of inheritance. 'Was it fair?' he asked.

Apart from the response that a gift should not have conditions attached and the recipient of a gift has liberty to do whatever they want with it, the comments from the public readers are hilarious: 

"An engine rebuild, new paintwork, etc. Seems you gave them a junker hoping they would spend their money on restoring it so when you get it back it would be fully restored and in pristine condition. That's no way to treat your parents"

"I think someone will be checking up on the car with a magnifying glass every week. LOL! You gonna get all mad when your parents put a scratch or ding on "their gift." LOL!...."

"It's really terrible that your parents will go through their golden years being stingy on themselves because they have to worry about how much they'll have left to give their kids. "You're going to spend money on that car? Money that could be mine when you die?" So then your poor parents have to bargain... "Okay, okay.. we'll take it out of his inheritance all the maintenance cost. But son, can we have a good steak dinner on Fridays? Or, do you want us to stick to can food, so we can save even more inheritance for you?" All of you don't sound like good children at all."

If you ask me I would say "What rotten children!"

And here in lies the dilemma in many of us who have adult kids and have something to bequeath.

- Do we reveal what we have?

- Do we openly discuss with them our intended distribution?

- Do we impart some of it rather than leaving all as inheritance?

In the Moneyist column there are numerous questions reflecting the dilemma of whether to bequeath more to a child who needs financial support, leaving an estranged child out of the will, and fears about the impact on the children's feelings.

Many parents take great pain to make sure they treat their children equally even after death. But in some cases unequal distribution may really be equal distribution viewed from another angle. To avoid resentment and ill feelings , lawyers have advised that the inheritance plan should be openly discussed. Yet I think this is one of the most procrastinated task ever.