Bringing up the Past

 

Many people like to share old photos on chat groups. They probably spend quite a lot of time looking through old photo albums.  My husband's brother is one of them. He will share in the family chat group old childhood photos of the family living in their kampung house. The chat group will come alive recalling memories and quizzing each other facts about old neighbours and landmarks. They seem to have so much fun that it reaffirms my perception that they grew up in a happy family home. They certainly will benefit if they continue to do so as they grow old especially if  stirring up memories and communicating help in mental well being.

On my side of the family however old photos are scarce. My parents didn't purchase a camera and any old pictures we had were usually taken by visiting relatives. Oh yes, there was a family photo taken at the studio with everyone dressed up. I still have it but I hardly look at it because it doesn't make me smile. Well we grew up in a stormy home where my parents often fought, so it is only rationale not to recall those unhappy times. 

I am not sure whether the habit of trying to forget the past causes me to have an exceptionally poor memory. I can even forget incidents when I had been treated badly at work until an ex-colleague brought it up again. "Oh, I have forgotten about it. But now that I remember I won't forgive..." I would jest.

My husband and my children can talk excitedly about places of interest which we have visited and I would have little impression of them. I also do not really bother to look up pictures taken during those travels or dig up photos of my children when they were young. Hopefully forgetting the past helps me to be more present. However it could also be that constant thinking about the future overshadows thoughts about the past.

Of course living in the moment is most ideal because every moment that is not "lived with presence" is lost forever. Happy memories are only good to recollect as long as one does not cling onto them. That means not always living in the past, not comparing the happy and glorious past to the present in despair. Many baby boomers like to reminisce about their younger years be it of their career or family life with implied longing of the "good old days". We have to be careful not to be stuck in the past, raving about the past and ranting the present social way of life.

As Mexican writer, Domenico Cieri once said

 "Bring up the past only if you are going to build from it"