Insight into the struggles of low income parenting

I am half way through with the book "This is What Inequality Looks like" by Teo You Yenn which is exactly what the title suggests in the context of Singapore. Despite my past and present opportunity to engage with people and children from the lower income households whilst working/volunteering in schools, counselling centres and children's home, the extent of stress and challenges faced by these parents and children are far worse than I imagine. A couple of facts strike me empathetically.

Many parents from low income household hold jobs not only involving shifts but may demand changes with very short notice. This is made worse if they have to hold more than one job to support the family as in the case of single parents. Such irregular working hours make it extremely stressful to arrange for child care centre services which operate on regular working hours. Many have to rely on relatives or neighbours to pick up the children daily or at last minute ad hoc requests. Often the children are left to their own devices at home which is a constant worry for these parents. I have experienced the anxiety entrusting an unsupervised maid to take care of my kids at home when they were toddlers. I can imagine the level of stress these parents have thinking about kids left home alone. Apparently when these mothers can not find work which fits into their child care schedule they just have to forgo working and live on much less income.

Another fact of life which I never would have realised involved teenage children in the low income households. Teenagers from middle income families rely on their parents to a far greater extent than those from low income families. This includes allowances and attending classes outside school be it tuition, enrichment classes, sports coaching or dance class. Their time is fully engaged and their activities monitored by their parents. In contrast many of their peers from lower income households have to work part  time to support themselves or family. This gives them a sense of independence and freedom in their choice of social life which often challenges the authority of their parents, who often worry about their teenagers not attending school and mixing with the wrong company.

In her interaction with low income households, the author often hear parents telling their children, "study hard don't be like me" or laments like " I want my children to not be like me". She then observes that "one of the profound difficulties of parenting while low-income is that one has to parent in a social context where one is, and knows that one is, negatively judged as a parent". Parenting teenagers under normal conditions in itself is already not a breeze with their constant desire to challenge authority, what more if the authority figure tells the teenager to do this and that but "don't be like me", what credibility does the advice carry.

I am just half way through but this book certainly makes me realise how shallow is my understanding of the predicaments faced by parents from low income households. In addition I can now visualise better the circumstances my little friends in the Children's Home grow up in.