Sunday, August 26, 2018
No Show
Both appointments this week were cancelled last minute, 'no show' they called it. The first, I kind of expected because the mother of the client questioned my skills in sandplay therapy. Prior to the first session when I met up with her to share how the therapy works, she brushed me aside quite abruptly declaring that she knows what expressive therapy is all about and I need not elaborate further. After the first session she checked with her child about what went on during the session and gave feedback to my boss that I used the wrong technique. Had she bothered to spend some time with me she would understand there are variations on the approach to sandplay therapy.Really, if the parent has no faith in the therapist it does not make sense for the child to continue because the parent will probably be sending the wrong vibes to the child. It is a pity because from my interpretation of the child's sand story she desires personal boundaries and protection from external threats ( a common dilemma in a child caught between parents fighting for custody).
The second no show case was unexpected because the client and guardian wanted very regular sessions. In fact to be honest I was secretly relieved when last minute the guardian called to cancel the appointment. The client who has several issues had once described each session like me equipping him with ammunition to face the world. Unfortunately it's more than a year now and he does not seem to have mastered the skill nor the will to develop the ammunition himself. I feel I am here to give support not to be his lifeline. As the boy has various issues I have also assisted the guardian to get specialized help from other organisations.
Most time however 'no show' appointments especially last minute cancellations leave a sour taste in the mouth. You review the file, think through the approach and make your way to the centre. You are there usually about 15 minutes before the appointment to settle down and be in the right frame of mind for the client. Then you review the case notes while waiting. The hour comes and past. Then the call comes with some explanation or in your mind just excuses You feel you have wasted your time. You speculate the real reason behind the cancellation. In summary you feel unappreciated and may harbour doubt on your own ability. The truth then is that your own ego needs a lifeline. All these feelings surface before you reason with yourself these are just part and parcel of the job. With sandplay therapy especially where there is little concrete scientific validation of its efficacy, parents of clients have the tendency to question the worthiness of the time and effort in bringing their child to 'play'.
In a very different setting at the Childrens' home where I volunteer no such ego dance is involved. The children just feel happy to play in my presence and I just go with the flow and shower love. There is no need to think of efficacy. Here they are captive clients though more than willing. Here there is no such thing as 'no show'. Perhaps it is the children that worry about 'no show' from me and I also worry that they worry about my 'no show' when I have to be away.That is the beauty of no expectation.
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