Giving

Mark Twain once said "To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with". My mother-in-law will fully agree with him. Just yesterday she struck lottery and won $4K. She gave each of her 10 grandchildren $200 despite the fact that all of them except for two are working adults. Knowing full well that her joy is derived from giving I encourage my 2 'kidults' to act really happy and appreciative.

Many of us are especially measured when comes to giving our time. Yet I also find that giving one's time brings the deepest joy. Many of the children in the Children's Home which I visit weekly love to play cooking, be they boys or girls. They love to play cooking up an elaborate meal for me. The delight on their faces when I pretend to relish the food, exclaiming how good the food smells and tastes, bounces onto me. These children rarely enjoyed home cooked meals even on their occasional weekend home leave. Hence they may project onto me their longing of a normal family life. My acceptance of their 'effort' gives them joy which infects me, a hard to describe fuzzy feeling which warms the heart.

It is easy to give when the recipient expresses appreciation and gratitude. How about giving without expectation of anything in return? In today's Sunday Times there is an article which relates growing incidences of children and youths sacrificing a lot of study or work time to take care of their parents due to a rising trend of people getting chronic disease at a younger age. This is especially hard if the parents are suffering from dementia or stroke which can change their personality and cognitive power. I think for these caregivers the 'joy' in giving  (if it can be called joy) takes on another format. Some caregivers find meaning and purpose and even pride in taking on the responsibility to meet the needs of another. One caregiver even described such fulfillment as spiritual.

"For it is in giving that we receive"-Francis of Assissi