Reminders from Supervision

I googled for a counselling supervisor and found one whom I kind of like even though his charges is on the high side. This was my first supervision session after many years. My first supervisor attached to the university when I was still a struggling student had commented that my counselling style lacked focus although my hypnotic voice would keep the clients coming back. Not bad if my aim was to earn money. My second supervisor was a joke and I just made do with him because his charges was low and I had to chalk up a certain minimum supervision hours to get my qualifications. After that I had some group supervision at work.

This current supervisor is an elderly man with many years of experience helping couples and families. However to my great surprise he also has skills in play therapy including sandplay therapy, skills which he did not include in his credentials. I have sought him out to get more help on talk therapy with adolescents. In particular I had brought up a case involving an angry teenage boy in a very adverse family circumstance. Though I have helped him manage his anger I have not been successful to help him focus on a goal so as to divert his obsession with being a victim.

I walked away from the first supervision session quite satisfied. Though I didn't learn a new skill I was reminded of some basic facts about counselling which I have forgotten when too immersed  in the case. Firstly I am not expected  to help solve all his problems. He would learn to stand on his own in overcoming his difficulties. Secondly I really must push him to arrive at a goal even small ones which will reinforce his confidence when accomplished. This points to my own lack of focus and persistence which I acknowledge, and am glad to be reminded. (Looks like my very first supervisor saw my inherent weakness). I have always feared to appear too pushy and hence have forgotten to be firm.

I think what I like about this supervisor is the way he empathizes with my struggles, often affirming the strategies I have used and recognising the daunting challenges faced by the boy and hence by me in trying to help, ie. instilling confidence and empathising. Indeed these are the strategies that I use constantly myself, listening empathetically and validating the clients' strength. Now being a recipient and knowing they work, at least on me, is great.

Just this morning I listened to a podcast which advocates that to change a system which is not working well we need to change the goal. More about that in another blog.