The importance of being present

The importance of being present can never be overly emphasized in counselling practice. The counselor's authentic presence evokes an ambiance of unconditional acceptance and creates a safe space for the client to explore his/her emotions. When engaging in talk therapy I am always fully present and manage any tendency to think of a response.

However it still startles me how important it is to be fully present with the client in play therapy. So at a children's home where I volunteer engaging the children in play therapy, I was caught several times when my attention was momentarily diverted. Children have the tendency to play out a theme several times to fully express or fathom their inner emotions. So it is very common for a child at the home to repeat for several sessions laying out a home scene within a heavily fenced environment before tugging the babies to bed or another child to play the story of a maid abused by an evil queen over and over again or for a boy to use action figures in one-on-one combat endlessly. Usually the child plays quietly during the initial two sessions followed by sessions with self commentary or self talk usually after they feel more comfortable and safe with the therapist.

For me when the relationship has taken roots and when I could feel their ease with my presence I tend to lose a bit of attention partly because an hourly session of repetitive themes can be quite straining (boring). When the child seems to be totally absorbed in his own play talking to himself, I had on a few occasions moved a few steps away to retrieve my handphone from my bag. In most attempts my attention was called back by them which caught me by surprise because they seemed so absorbed in their own play. During one such session recently a boy was so intense at building a heavily guarded home before an enemy attack I felt really guilty when called back by him the moment I stepped away. I felt so sorry for deserting him when he is so intense in building a safety net for himself.

I remind myself play therapy is an effective expressive therapy and works on the same principles of basic counseling theory.

In counselling theory when the client feels the presence of the counselor's congruent unconditional acceptance and empathy they feel they are being heard and understood. The counselor holds the client emotionally while they explore their experience.