A pair of siblings, a boy aged 10 and a girl aged 7, are in my sandplay therapy program in the Malay Children's Home. Typically a sandplay therapy session is a one-to-one engagement where the therapist provides a safe and secure environment for the child to explore self. Hence the child is told that the time and space is totally his. In short he/she is free in his/her own world. For many sessions, the boy had selected action figures to enact fierce one on one fighting manoeuvres in the sand or multitudes of soldiers and artilleries to create some elaborate battles. This is often viewed as the child trying to combat and process internal threats and anger. The sister on the other hand has without fail played at cooking for little baby figurines whom she would put to sleep after the meal (probably part of the inner desire to be nurtured or self assurance she would be). Often when I enquire of the girl whether she will look for her brother for comfort when she is unhappy she would reply that her brother does not care about her. As for the boy he thinks his sister is often miserable, angry, throwing tantrums and uncontrollable. Yet this is the boy who froze and was instantly saddened once during therapy when the noise of a commotion created by her sister filtered into our therapy room. Though living in the same children's home I doubt they have much private time together. As the boy is still very angry with his mother he does not join in when the mother occasionally brings the younger child out.
At the last sandplay session, I deviated from the one to one engagement format. As the older brother was back from school early which is hard to come by, I asked the younger sister's permission to shorten her session in order that her brother can have a session too. The sister agreed but when her brother arrived she refused to leave the therapy room. To avoid her kicking a huge tantrum which she is capable of, I suggested they played in separate corners of the room which I thought was necessary given the diverse play they usually engage in. The toy kitchen sets, toy food and tea sets were still lying in and around the sand tray. I told him we should clear them so he could build his own story. To my huge surprise he said he did not mind playing with his sister at cooking to which her sister squealed with sheer delight.
So the siblings took turns to play as chief cook with the other as assistant in cooking meals which I was instructed to order as the customer. Watching the pair of siblings playing whilst "waiting for my food" I could sense the little girl's great joy. You can say I am one huge happy customer observing my little chefs cooking my favourite food. Yet a tinge of sadness pulled my heart a little when I realised how deprived they were ie. deprived of just a normal home setting to play together on their own.
Sometimes I am in a dilemma between doing as the theory and text teach me or just throw them into the wind and act according to what my heart tells me. Before they left big brother asked me "when is it my turn again?" "You want to play with your sister again?" I asked. He nodded shyly.
OK, sandplay therapy is also used for couples in conflict where each partner creates a sand picture or story and describes it as the other partner listens in silence. No, my sibling clients are never going to carry out such a process. They are just going to play like any brother and sister. I will let them and probably play along.
Sorry no case notes! We are just happy playing together!
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