Borrowed life

When I  was meditating a few days ago something suddenly dawned on me. I am not sure whether it was a feeling, a thought or both. It occurred to me that we may be born into this world on a 'rented' body, something like an agent. The short term lease comes with conditions that will shape us. The life we have to live out will affect people around us from the closest within our family to the people we pass by in our daily routine. Perhaps part of it is destined but we are supposed to do the best as an interwoven thread of a big piece of tapestry. Perhaps we are 'tasked" to be this person's daughter, that person's mother and another's boss or subordinate and for some a leader of some sort. We then have to carry out our roles to the best we can. However we have no power over how others live because each thread is of a different shade and colour. Likewise we have no control on the outcome of our actions despite the best intentions.


What leads me to this thinking is probably the idea that one can not be too attached to one's role or identity. I have been attending a class on "Resolving People Problem" and in one session the discussion centred around parents trying to resolve their children's problems. Someone mentioned Kahlil Gibran's quote:

"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you."


 The lecturer also alluded to the fact that below the tip of every people problem is the issue about self identity, the stuff that ego is made of. Hence my conclusion that we cannot hold on too tightly to the self but instead treat it as a borrowed life to perform a role, a thread in a huge tapestry.

Below is the full text of Kahlil Gibran's poem on children:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.