Life script review- childhood

I am currently attending a class on Life Scripts Review organised by SACE. The objective of the course is to analyse our current life script and re-script it where possible to achieve a more meaningful and better quality life. There are about 10 female participants ranging from 51 to 68 years of age, and we are still at the early stage of recalling critical life events in childhood and thinking about their impact or implications.

So far no one has shared any truly traumatic experience or perhaps withheld from sharing. However there seems to be a few common situations that the ladies remember vividly about their childhood. Do not forget we are talking about us growing up in the 1950s and 1960s. One typical experience is gender bias. So we have people sharing about how their birth was met with disappointment by grandparents/parents. One lady being the second granddaughter was denied the pleasure of being named by the grandmother. So her father had to give her a name where the second character means "end" ie. signifying the last of the female offspring. Most of the participants, not to mention one Indian lady, spoke with half humour  and half lament about how the sons in the family were treated like lords. However there seems to be very little impact. None of us become men haters or fiercely grudging feminists. All of us just laughed it off as quirks of the previous era.

Another common experience that left deep imprint is poverty and the resulting humiliation encountered. Poverty however was relative. So the hardest hit are those who went to elite schools whilst coming from poor families. Vivid in their minds were the stress of sharing books or accessories which were commonly used by pupils in different levels like the book "First Aid in English". So one had to excuse from class to get the shared book from a sibling in another class. Also of embarrassment was worn out shoes with holes and tattered or patched uniform. One lady recounted being so poor that the family rented a room from the owner of an attap house and was denied by the house owner the use of the bathroom. Her family had to take baths at the public water turnpikes. When she took her quick baths she was wary of being witnessed by her classmates who lived in the same area. The humiliation was more acute when being academically inclined one was placed in the top classes where the proportion of pupils from well off families was higher. One lady recounted being shy that her grandmother ran a stall in the school canteen. Another recounted the embarrassment of bringing a kati of cheap biscuits for the year end class party and noticing in dismay the untouched biscuits amongst fruit pudding, fanciful cakes, sandwiches and candies contributed by other classmates.

Yet one extremely positive experience is the freedom of play and especially so amongst those who lived in kampong houses or near to nature. As parents were too occupied with earning a living most were left to their own devices. Rough play and fighting to defend oneself from bullies or gangsters instilled fearlessness and independence. The joy of such freedom and carefree play seemed to erase any misery from hardship and provided the equilibrium that constituted a generally happy life.

Well at least for now that is what people have shared. Let's see what will come out as we venture deeper into our current life scripts.