Doubt vs fear

I guess a hypochondria will always look for a trigger happy doctor. I was having a reflux problem that makes my throat feels ticklish and a compulsive need to cough out the phlegm. This happens especially when I lie down for my afternoon nap. For some time I have not been enjoying my nap. My dear family doctor straight away writes a reference letter to a stomach and liver specialist recommending an endoscopy. Though she prescribed me medicine for a condition called GERD (Gastroesophageal reflux disease) she did not see the necessity for me to wait and see whether the medicine works first. She also thought my losing 2 kg over the last 6 months was something to worry about.

I was stumped of course and must have shown it on my face. I had expected only some medication to solve the problem. She gave me the incredulous look when I asked about the procedure and the cost etc. I deliberated for a week and when her medicine didn't work found myself at the specialist's office. The receptionist had asked me to fast from midnight prior to the appointment "just in case I need to do a scope". True enough the specialist suspected acid reflux due to weakening of the valve or maybe presence of air pockets in the esophagus. Anyway I was prepared to be scoped. However he also pushed me to do an additional colonscopy ie. bottom up as well. That despite me giving negative answers to abnormalities-detective questions about my bowels, other than my life long conditions of an easily irritable bowel. To do the colonscopy I have to purge for 3 hours after taking some special laxative. He said I could spend about 3 hours in his office and after 4 hours everything will be over and I could go home. He said at my age I should really undergo the procedure. As I was not mentally prepared for that I declined and said I would just go along with the endoscopy. I must say he didn't look pleased at all. At the waiting room outside I was rather disturbed with my decision and toyed with the idea whether I would live to regret my decision. Was I being a fool not to do both at one shot? Wild ideas crossed my mind like what if I miss the test which could have saved my life. To be honest I would have gone with both scopes had there not an appointment which I didn't want to cancel later in the day.

At the endoscopy centre one floor below I met a 40-ish  China national couple who sought my help to fill in some forms and did some translation. I found out that his doctor was the same as mine. They then shared that the husband has a GERD problem and the medicine doesn't really help. To my surprise he had done 3 scopes in 5 years under the same doctor. I was shocked and asked why there was the need for such frequency. The wife just shrugged and said the husband felt safer. Now being a hypochondriac I have done extensive googling not only about the details of various scopes but have also scanned many websites advocating for such procedures as well as websites that list the risks, hazards and the needlessness of their frequency.Now the couple may not have divulged a more serious problem and the websites I visit may be incorrect which is quite probable. My mind may also have been corrupted by bad media against the medical profession and medical commercialism.

What I have described is a common experience of being caught between skepticism and fear when encountering a medical problem. I guess I better go for a stool test soon since I missed out on the chance to do a colonscopy.

Do I look like this guy in the picture below? Sigh!