Heartwarming & Upsetting

Counselling has allowed me to gain insights into some private lives which in turn help me reflect much about life in general. It is not always fulfilling though and I encounter lots of 3-step-forward 2or3-step backward scenarios. A girl who was progressing well suddenly went MIA again throwing us in bewilderment and despair. You are forced to recognise how the system or environment is crucial and has to be conducive to support change. Never before does the concept of 'conditions precedent' be so relevant and real.

This vocation throws lots of surprises sometimes heartwarming sometimes upsetting. It is especially so with teenagers. Someone whom I thought has progressed and shown maturity in reasoning during our discussions and whom I was confident was on the right path suddenly threw a curve ball and went missing. On the other hand one who is of few words and whose sessions sometimes find each of us just sitting quietly together reading our own stuff, progresses well enough for her to be discharged from the girls' home. Yet she wants to meet me regularly and is prepared to make special trips to the Home to do so, the very Home she was dying to leave behind. I wasn't sure how I was of help.

A psychologist cum teacher once made a statement which I found quite apt in many situations. She said at the end of the day people don't want others "to fix" them, they just want your presence, someone who attends and "holds their vulnerability with tenderness".