CNY angst

Honestly I feel a bit guilty writing this blog when I should be busy with Chinese New Year spring cleaning or out there milling with the crowd buying CNY 'necessities'. After all we only have 2 weekends to complete the 'chores'. Somehow I still couldn't bring myself to clean yet another cabinet or furniture or the fridge or wash another curtain or table cloth or throw another piece of junk. I prefer to write my blog  though at the back of my mind I know I must at least clean the open shelves in the living area or the visible parts of an opened fridge to avoid any guests having some bad impression of me as a lazy housewife. Already I am not capable of frantically baking cookies or making lanterns out of red packets.

Nevertheless I have already figured out the minimum work necessary. Though this year is our turn to host the over-30-year customary pot luck dinner amongst my husband's circle of close friends and their families, I have thought through on how to make the job easier with disposal plates, easy to cook soup and dishes. I am not too worried as I used to be ensuring there is sufficient food on the table. I have stocked up some famous Muar otak and will stand by some other finger food just in case the other wives failed me. At the end of the day I am too old to care what impression people may walk away with.

Recently I heard 2 youngsters shared how they dread CNY. This made me recalled how I felt the same in my teenage and early adult years when attending the big extended family gathering at my grandma's house. The family consisted of well over 40 people at that time. As a teenager I would be scolded if an aunt failed to hear my greetings. As an unattached adult I would suffer the embarrassment of having to repeat to every aunt that I still did not have a boyfriend and as a married woman I had to give reasons why I was either not yet expecting or decided not to have more children. And even now when I visit some old aunt who enquires about the age of my adult kids and their marital status I have to brush it off or explain to her that such things are beyond my control and is best for me to 不管 (not care). I guess that's the function of a community, to discourage deviation from normalcy in order to ensure continuity.

Having experienced many of such embarrassing moments myself I now refrain from probing into the private life of my younger relatives. Conformist or non conformist it is good that they bother to turn up and have not boarded the first flight out of town during the CNY.