Valentine Friend

It's Valentine Day and my niece commented on facebook, "it's not only a day to show your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend that you love them; it's also a day for the love of family and friends". I had my Valentine present yesterday, the warmth of a 7 year old friend.

Reading more books on play therapy has revalidated my understanding of the stories that the children are trying to tell in their sand story. (The children whom I work with place symbols and small figurines in a sandbox creating their own picture or story). Some stories are heart wrenching whilst others can be uplifting in that they show such resilience and hope. The most heart wrenching story I've seen was at a first session with a very disturbed boy who was suspected to have been physically abused at home. His story ended in a total carnage where all characters died be they good or evil. He piled the corpses and placed a naked dead baby ontop of the heap.

We, the play therapists try our best to provide a reassuring presence and secure environment so that the clients can recount their trauma or fears instead of suppressing them; thereby gaining confidence to manage the pain and difficulties in their lives.  So when a child wins a battle with an enemy or monster with his prowess and wit he gets proof that he is able to overcome his difficulties. Similarly a girl who nurses a little doll gets reassurance that she 'the doll' is loved by her mother and will not be abandoned.

Children who are institutionalised showed repeated longing for a home.Furnishing a home is a very common theme amongst girls in this Children's home whilst traveliing on ships and planes is common amongst the boys. Both are described by analysts as inner expressions of longing and looking for a home. One little girl at the home often takes close to an hour absorbed in  arranging and rearranging again and again the pieces of little furnitures and redecorating the sandbox.

Yesterday one 7 year old boy took one large wooden fishing boat and one small solid bronze ship. (unfortunately my symbols collection are disproportionate in size). In his story he drove the fishing boat whilst I drove the ship. The 2 vehicles travelled side by side in very stormy seas and were being violently tossed and turned about. When he had enough he removed them from the sandbox and introduced 2 aeroplanes. Again the story was about the 2 of us. He said he was the pilot of the blue plane whilst I was the white plane's pilot. He made the 2 planes soared very high above the tray and told me that their tails let out colourful streams of smoke. Not content he left the sandbox with the 2 planes in both hands and raced round the room, zigzagging and calling out to me to 'see' the beautiful patterns of smoke the 2 planes had created in the sky.

Spontaneously, I clapped my hands in childish delight.

What a beautiful present from a young friend!