Alone

I am reading a collection of short stories by Richard Yates entitled "Eleven Kinds of Loneliness" that sets me thinking about the subject. I can never forget the time when I interned as a counsellor at a Family Service Centre when a lady client confided that she was unable to share her deepest thoughts and feelings with siblings and friends for various reasons. That, the inability to communicate, is just one aspect of being alone in this world. Suffering from a serious illness is also  known to be a lonely experience, and the same applies to the care giver. The book consists stories that describe how any ordinary man/woman can feel very much alone be it in the classroom, workplace, hospital or at home. Being rejected or misunderstood, holding onto secrets that can not be revealed (lest one be disdained) and losing one's authenticity just to ride along with people at large; these can also contribute to feelings of being alone.

Loneliness drives many to various modes of defensive escapism like gambling, alcoholism and illicit sex. Perhaps such addictions help divert one's mind from the fears of being alone in a world which one does not know how to fit in or which one does not understand the meaning of being in.

I was reading this book at Turi Beach whilst staring at the beautiful frame of colours made up of different shades of the turquoise blue sea, varying dark patches of rocks, swaying greens of trees and the whites of the foaming waves. If one is afflicted with the feeling of being alone, being in this place can help alleviate the pain. One may lose oneself to nature and suspends loneliness momentarily.

For it has been said that core loneliness arises from the concept of self.