Those Unlabelled

Susan Boyle, the singer who shot to fame in the TV show Britain's Got Talent announced that she has Asperger ( a condition where the sufferer lacks the ability to pick up social cues thus making social interaction a challenge). She describes how her condition has subjected her to a lot of bullying in her childhood. She hopes that "people will treat me better because they will have a much greater understanding of who I am and why I do the things I do." This was apparently after she almost suffered a breakdown because of the worldwide attention she had drawn.

Now most people have character traits that are peculiar to themselves, some of which if less socially acceptable and out of the behavioural norm will be labelled by the American Psychiatric Association as a mental disorder in a guide called the DSM.  Asperger is often described as a high functioning form of Autism.  However if you think about it many people may have semblances of behavioural traits similar to those labelled as disorders in the DSM. It is just a matter of the extent ie. ranging from slight traces to strong "symptoms".

What keeps me thinking is Susan Boyle's hope that people will treat her better now that they understand she has Asperger. So why do people become more empathetic towards a person if they know he (or she)  is suffering from a labelled mental disorder. Does another person who just misses the diagnostic criteria of the DSM by a small margin and hence is unlabelled deserves less sympathy? Do we therefore have to be understanding irrespective and how do we develop this kind of empathy universally?

Maybe we have to fall back on what makes a person, his body constitution and DNA, his past and present conditioning, memories and experiences that give rise to his perception, thinking as well as develop his habitual energy (习气). 

In the children's home where I do sandplay therapy there is a pair of sisters whose age gap is about a year. Although both have similar experiences from a dysfunctional home, the older one is more matured and caring whilst the younger one is rebellious and described as self centred. Hence the younger child is not well liked and this reinforces her hostility and needs for attention. (Honestly, it is quite challenging not to dislike her). One wonders why she is so different from her sister. However as mentioned in the previous paragraph, if one will to ponder about her being a middle child, her being always a shadow of her sisters (the pair has an elder sister being put up in another centre and 4 younger siblings as well), her being a bit dyslexic, her temperament being perhaps less suitable for institutional living, one can cultivate greater sense of empathy. Of late I was told even the elder sister has started to act out, probably because mum is bringing their eldest sister (the firstborn) from the woman's shelter to live with her whilst the remaining kids stay put at the children's home. This goes to show how changing circumstances continuously change experiences shaping new feelings and perceptions.

Of course such empathy should also be cultivated right from home. So if my husband refuses to dispose of unwanted items and  make our garden almost like a jungle, I think about how our garden may resemble the farm in his happy childhood kampong days. Thus I am learning to turn my attention away from the undergrowth and focus on the young mangoes starting to sprout on the mango tree.