Avoiding the Stops and Starts

French philosopher Descartes' famous quote "I think therefore I am" may now be pushed aside by facebook to " I share therefore I am". (Today's ST Opinion page has an interesting article entitled "Living a Life of Stops and Starts"). In it the writer describes how his friend, a famous actor was often approached by passers by to have a photo taken with him so that they could share on their facebook. The actor offered instead a short chit chat instead of a photo whereby these people can discuss what they like or dislike about his show. Though taken by surprise very few walked away happy. They just wanted a photo with him because as the writer concluded "to have" or "to possess" (the photo) is necessary in order to "share". People need "documentation" first and "experience" later.

I really like the way the writer describes how with technology we are now "putting ourselves and those around us on pause in order to document our lives". Why "Stops and Starts"? Well, every so often in the midst of doing something the phone alerts you to a message or email and habits have it that you need to steal a look., hence the stop. Then you got to restart or resume. Needless to say, the writer quoted Obama's selfie as an example.

O course I am also one such culprit. At times when trying to capture a special moment there arises a quick dilemma in my mind whether to just experience it (before it lapses) instead of possessing it on a flat screen. When I attended my son's convocation we were seated at a vantage point where I could capture the scroll receiving handshake. However in my great desire to possess the picture and anxiousness not to miss it, I only saw this through the small pinhole of my iphone! From the photo I will never be able to get the feel again, sigh...

I am quite certain all parents feel the frustrations of their children texting and fixated on their devices  at meal time or during conversations. Oh but now even baby boomer are equally fixated. So it is not uncommon to see baby boomer grandparents with their children and grandchildren at a restaurant communicating with their ipads (for the toddler) and iphones etc for the rest. Perhaps only the presence of a 80 year old mama or ah gong can bring back some sanity and communication into the dining table.

The article however ended with an optimistic note about a rising trend where teenagers feeling the shortcomings of technology now begin to demand real conversation with their parents. It quoted an example of a 14 yr old teenager telling her "device-smitten" dad, "Dad, stop Googling. I don't care about the right answer. I want to talk to you.".

I guess for a start we have to set good examples for our children.