The art of listening

Sometimes when I reflect on a session which I had with a client, I want to kick myself for not giving a more appropriate response. All the useful things I could have said come flooding upon me after the event. Why didn't it occur to me at that moment? Why was I so dumb struck? Am I inadequate? This usually happens on the day of the session.

For every session, case notes have to be made for record and reference. I usually do that a day or 2 after the session. That means I will be looking through my scribbled notes, recalling, reflecting on the process of the session and recording the main take aways. A more objective mind takes over and I realise that apart from the perceived useless and stupid responses, there were also some helpful and comforting ones.

It has been said that "the art of counselling trumps knowledge and intervention. Knowing what to do is of little value if trust hasn't been fully formed." Finding the right verbal response is not important. What is important is what the clients hear and take away. What is the use of saying the right thing if the client is not hearing. This is especially so for children who are continuously being talked to by teachers and parents. For them it takes more them words to put the message across. Besides every individual is unique and one intervention does not work for all.

For children staying in a home away from their own homes, the emptiness can be gnawing.  Sometimes it is enough just to listen quietly and feel with them.