Aging

An uncle in his 80s suffered a stroke and had to be hospitalised and subsequently transferred to a community hospital for step down care. Now amongst the relatives of my parents' generation, I regard this uncle as the most rationale, most reasonable and open minded. However the illness had taken a toll on him such that he began to exhibit suspicious, sensitive and less tolerant characteristics which are so unlike him. He was also emotionally distressed as the stroke had affected his left mobility. His brains could also have been affected  to bring about such changes in behaviour. It is quite disheartening though to see the change overnight.

It brings to mind how unprepared we may be to face the inevitable degeneration of our body. Even for one in his 80s and who had enjoyed relatively good health for more years than an average person, one can still never accept a body that stops functioning as well as it used to be. Apart from encouraging him to think positive and focused on regaining his mobility and independence through diligent physio therapies, do we need to advise him that some impairment is inevitable as one ages?

There is this strangeness about growing old. Sometime I "feel" younger than my looks. When not reminded by aches and failing eyesight and memory etc, one actually doesn't feel one is older because one's thoughts are very much the same as when one is younger. In fact if one spends a bit of time looking at oneself in the mirror one may be taken aback by the disparity between the actual appearance and what the mind perceives of one's age. This is why one may get a shock when physical problems arise especially when they occur suddenly. This is especially so if the mind unaffected by the illness remains alert and "young" and finds it difficult to accept that one has become incapable and dependent on others. There may also be an underlying fear that immobility may lead to further social isolation and loneliness. As it is, loneliness is already felt when no one in the family seems to truly understand oneself.

Perhaps it is necessary to start training ourselves to be constantly aware of our body, our feelings and our thoughts. If like a bystander we can observe how these affect one another we may stand a better chance of being more prepared for aging.