Meditation Retreat

Went for a one day meditation retreat at a temple recently. The program started around 8 am in the morning. It included 2 meditation  practices in the morning (lasting about half an hour each) with a break in between in the form of  walking meditation. A simple vegetarian lunch was provided and we were encouraged to rest or find a corner in the large hall to nap after lunch. More meditation sessions followed in the afternoon and a volunteer helped us with yoga stretching. The retreat then ended with  a venerable sharing some Buddhist teachings and a feedback session.

We sit cross legged in a lotus or half lotus position on a mat and cushion when we meditate. When I signed up for the retreat I was rather worried whether I could sit in such a position for most of the day. My usual Buddhist class includes meditation practice of 20 mins and I normally get pins and needles towards the end. Will it  be unbearable to do that several times throughout the day and for a longer duration too? Our teacher told us before hand to be aware of whatever we think or however our body feels without resistance. Hence we try to be a mirror reflecting the thoughts and feelings. Though we are to concentrate on our breathing, thoughts will inevitably arise and surface in our mind. We then have to notice these thoughts and refocus on our breathing. Likewise with the numbness and pain.

Towards the end of the second meditation practice in the morning, my legs grew numb and I felt the painful stretch of my thighs. My instant response was to shift my legs slightly which sent shots of pin pricking them. I was tempted to change me leg position further but decided to adhere to the teacher's advice. So like a mirror casting an image on myself, I told myself there was pain in "the" legs. They even trembled a little. I refocused on my breath and eventually the discomfort passed or perhaps I was no longer disturbed by it. It doesn't mean that the pain did not recur but each time it arose I used my "mirror" technique and it passed. The deep and slow breathing also helped to quieten the urge to react. This process works with mental agony as well.

Nowadays I try to squeeze in 25 minutes of meditation daily. I find it helps me to be more collected even on days when I feel distressed. In the words of T S Elliot it " Teach us to care and not to care".