Unconditional love

My husband and ALL his siblings have an unflagging love for my mother-in-law. If mum loves to eat a special type of pineapple, coconut sweet or Malaysian made nooddles, the family will be on a look out for such produce and may even travel the extra mile to get it. If mum needs to go for a medical appointment, there are many volunteers to accompany her.

My mother-in-law is really one of a kind in a very positive sense. I have never heard her scold anyone before, other than her grandchildren when they were mischievious. Neither has she spoken disapprovingly of any of her children. The only important decision she probably made in her life was when she was asked to decide between a Taoist or Buddhist funeral ceremony when my father in law passed away. There was a bit of dispute amongst her children but they respected her final decision.

Sometimes at family gatherings, I will quietly observe how she laughs heartily when the children humour her. As she is illiterate her children will also patiently explain to her news or storyline of dramas when she watches TV.

I have been mulling over the root of such filial trait in this family. I do not think it arises from steep moral education at home or special emphasis of such value. To me it is almost inherent in the children; a natural reaction perhaps to the way she treats them. She demands nothing of them. Even the more liberated amongst us mothers would expect something, even if minimally, from our children; failing which we feel let down. Even if we don't show it, our children know certain standards is expected of them academically or career wise. My husband and his siblings are free of such embedded demands and are grateful. I think they truly appreciate mum's unconditional love and reciprocate naturally.