Heal thyself first

Every aspiring counsellor has to resolve his or her unfinnished business (if any) in order to function effectively.

In my case I suffer from anxieties that plague me ever so often. I worry excessively.The slightest physical discomfort would send me scurrying to consult the medical encyclopaedia or internet for illnesses that display such symptoms. If any family member has a late nite out and never calls I would never be able to sleep. In particular I worry when my children are troubled or feel lousey.

I have often suspected my uncalled for anxieties developed out of my childhood experiences. Ha, what a cliche but that's exactly it, common as it may seems . My parents fought every other day and as a child I counted each lucky day without an incident. We the children would always be on high alert and on a constant look out for triggers. There was always a feeling of impending doom. This may catch many of you who know me by surprise. I often appear to be so cheerful. Well, not all is lost with an unhappy childhood. You try to shake off the unpleasant past, substituting with humour as much as you can. Only this anxiety is like an albatross. It creeps into me becoming almost my second nature and a very bad habit indeed. What's more "worrying", my behaviour may rub onto my children.

So for my own sake and that of my family, I have to change. There is no use blaming my parents because they in turn were victims of bad experiences. Being aware of the roots of my anxieties helps me realise it is not my fault i.e. it is not self imposed. However that does not mean I do not have the responsibility to change.
To do so I am constanlty challenging my irrational thinking which give rise to my anxieties. It is not easy but I just have to practise and practise. Hopefully as I master more skills when I proceed to the module on "Counselling for Change" it will be easier.