A mother's anxieties

Often I feel helpless as a mother to console my own children when they are feeling lousy. There is a vast difference between sympathy and empathy.
Sympathy is really feeling sorry for the person. Being overly involved and affected cripples one's ability to help. The immediate response tends to be a rush for a solution to stop the hurt or solve the problem. Hence a lot of inappropriate advice may be showered.
Empathy is being aware of the issues and understanding how the helpee is feeling. Very often, they just need to be heard and be understood. That could be therapeutic in itself. When they have some blind spots, irrational thinking or unrealistic expectations, gentle challenges would then be appropriate.
However when the helpee is your own child, it is not so easy. One tends to be overly affected and then as usual the flight for safety behaviour surfaces and assessment of the situation is clouded etc etc.
Sigh. I often forget that I have my own share of strivings in my childhood, growing up, working,caring for the family and drifting into middle age.How then can I not expect that my children will go through these phases, the ups and downs. How unrealistic for me to want a smooth and trouble free existence for them.
Ah.... a mother's anxieties. There is something I hope to achieve, to shake off this persistent anxiety. A struggle, but will keep trying and learning.
Ironically, whilst posting this and feeling a bit moody, I tune on to a playlist comprising my favourites which was recorded by my daughter and stored in "itune" for me. It is now playing "Smile" by Nat King Cole.
"Smile, though your heart is aching....
When they are clouds in the sky, you'll get by"

You learn from the children, so much!