So much talk on Inequality

The current focus on the subjects of inequality and social divide must have overwhelmed me such that I had a strange dream yesterday. I dreamed that in a group therapy I spotted a girl who was my counselee when I was working in a neighbourhood primary school. In the dream she wanted to talk to me in private so she won't be embarrassed. When alone she narrated how she had fared badly having been streamed to Normal Academic (for the least academically inclined in the cohort) and even then she feared she would be at the bottom of the NA class. In my dream I was surprised that she did so badly and she kind of explained that the subject she was good at was not taken into account for determining the position in class. I can remember I was feeling at a loss on how to comfort her in my dream. I could only utter lame statements like taking things a step at a time.

The dream highlighted where I intuitively stand in the ongoing debate on whether the government has done sufficiently to help the disadvantaged including students from the lower socio economic strata. A lot of statistics has been thrown flying around and controversy abound on their methodology and relevance.

The main themes in my dream seem to be low self esteem (embarrassment) and low recognition of certain skill (subject the girl was good at being ignored). From my experience as a school counsellor in a neighbourhood primary school and engagement with children in a children's home I can fully understand how a disadvantaged family background greatly hampers the child's ability to keep up with his cohort not to mention to excel. A OECD report said that disadvantaged students in Singapore fared well in comparison to their peers globally but find it hard to match up to the top performers within the country for eg only one in ten of Singapore's disadvantaged students has scores which match their top peers (those whose scores are in the 75th percentile).

The report also found that the disadvantaged students are congregating in disadvantaged schools. The Ministry of Education needless to say came out with the defence that all schools in Singapore are well facilitated and there is no such thing as a disadvantaged school. What they seem to miss is that the segregation of schools by academic performance has resulted in adverse perverse psychological set back in schools predominated by less academically inclined students. There is a sense of shame, hopelessness and negative self image.  This negative image is in no small part accelerated by the prevalent societal disrespect for low paying jobs due to the absence of a minimum wage. Where wage disparity is less stark, there is more pride and less discouragement in people holding less well paid jobs as can be seen in countries like Japan. There is pride even if a person excels in a skill that places him in a job that pays relatively less ie. society respects every job in the market.

Educational inequality coupled with income inequality (in no small part due to the absence of a minimum wage) is a psychological backlash for students in the bottom of the cohort. Fortunately in todays news the government is finally setting up a Inter-Agency task force to find out the underlying causes behind the students lacking behind and aims at helping children from disadvantaged homes meet their full potential.

At times when engaging with children in the children's home I have been amused by their wit and laments quietly how much more they could have developed their potentials given the right environment. Hopefully if the task force is really committed I would have less of such moments of wonder.

The Pendulum chime

I am watching Towards The Republic a second time now after many years. It's a tv serial out of China tracing the fall of the Qing Dynasty and the 1911 Chinese Revolution. The production is meticulous in creating the setting and undercurrent of that era. The camera follows the body movement of the main characters to bring out the feeling, the mood and their predicament. I also notice the frequent use of the sounding of the pendulum clock. In various scenes the ticking of a clock or the chime of the pendulum clock either gives a sense of urgency or eventuality/destiny. I also feel that the Qing royalty's obsession with the western mechanical clocks throws a pathetic irony of the situation during that time ie. their fascination with western ways and technology yet being trapped in a time warp of old traditions and practices.

Just a few days ago the Straits Times published an article entitled US-China tensions: Lessons from the Opium War by Leslie Fong . In the late eighteenth century and the first half of the nineteenth century the demand for tea by Britain and the West was not matched by any needs from China of  western products. Hence China demanded only silver in exchange for the tea until the East India Company found the solution in opium. When the Chinese burnt 20,000 chests of Opium in 1840 in an attempt to terminate the opium addition/scourge a divided British parliament debated on whether to launch a war on China.  In the end the pro war faction won just by 5 votes. The young William Gladstone who would later become the PM for 4 terms remarked " I am in dread of the judgements of God upon England for our national iniquity towards China," a moral trepidation certainly. Fast forward 180 years and history repeats itself in terms of the trade imbalance but now the table has turned with the West fearing China's growing power and supremacy. The British Empire has fallen a long way too.

Now when I watch the tv serial and the pendulum clock sounds in the background I tend to think that the swing of the pendulum also symbolises the repeat of history as well as the rise and fall of nations and that everything has its own rhythm

The Prudish ageist

When an article in the Straits Times on aging well highlights 3 tips in bold: stay passionate, eat wisely and manage pain, I was expecting to get some ideas on vocations or hobbies which people are passionate about to keep their mind and body active. I was literally shocked when it suggests that older adults can have 'satisfying sex lives even as their bodies change with age', not that it is untrue but more of the inappropriateness in being so direct. I am surprised how blatant it is to even recommend a certain position for the elderly.  I was also laughing that all the old men now have excuses to be promiscuous if their wives' sexual inclinations do not match theirs.

Then I paused and questioned whether I am being prudish. Why do people generally think that old people do not engage in sex or are perceived as 'gross' if they do ? For example I thought it unbelievable that the urologist they interviewed had an 83 year old patient seeking treatment for sexual dysfunction, (perception of age being relative I guess). On deeper thought it occurred to me that it has to do with ageism and society embracing youth. It is assumed that older people should behave in certain ways because of their age and movies seem to imply only physically beautiful young bodies engage in sex. I suppose sexuality in the young is also being focused for procreation purposes traditionally.

Having internalized all these negative stereotypes about aging for years it is no surprise that I can be an ageist even though I am elderly myself.

Borobudur

I encountered so many misses and hits from my visit to the Borobudur Temple. In the first place visiting Jogjakarta was not my original idea. Bothered by my husband's itch to travel somewhere less than 3 hours flight for a long weekend while taking advantage of promotion airfare, I settled for Jogjakarta from among destinations yet to visit. Knowing that Borobudur will be the highlight I did briefly scan some travel literature and website about its history and the things to look out for, but certainly not enough. Thus I draw the first lesson that intention is the cornerstone of actions and outcome, the lack of intention resulting in lackluster performance and experience.

From the attractive pictures showing sunrise over Borobudur I knew I had to sacrifice sleep for the pick up at 3.30 am to reach the site before sunrise. We reached just before 4.30 am and was given a torch each. I was surprised there was already quite a crowd and we just followed them in the dark. Due to poor communication and lack of initiative to find out more, I didn't know we were already at the temple grounds. From the posters at the travel agent's office I was under the impression we would be viewing sunrise over the temple from afar at some hill spot. In the dark we could not see the facade of the temple. If I knew we were actually at the temple grounds I would have strained my eyes to catch its looming greatness in the dark. Only when we started ascending the steps did we realise we were watching sunrise from the top of the temple . By the time we reached the top platform which housed the central dome it was bright enough to take in the whole scene. As the horizon gradually glowed in gold and pink and the mist shrouded over Mt. Merapi and the surrounding mountains, the dark silhouette of the stupas in Borobudur breathed their quiet presence. What an amazing sight! I looked up at the central stupa and there was the moon over its steeple as if affirming the feelings of connection I have inside me. To have these scenes emerging from darkness was quite an awesome experience, quite like a gradual awakening. Sacrificing a few hours of sleep yielded immeasurable gratification.

I wished I had read more about the reliefs sculptured at each of its 9 levels or for that matter hired a guide. The reliefs tell numerous stories and are rich with symbolism. I spotted a middle aged lady guide left standing on her own while waiting for her group of white tourists busy taking pictures. I struck a conversation with her and for that I picked up one of the most important symbol about Borobudur. I did read about how the stacking of each platform symbolises the ascent from basic desire to higher consciousness and finally to enlightenment at the central stupa, but I was totally thrilled when the guide shared that while each of the 72 surrounding stupas houses a Buddha statue, the central dome stupa is empty, thus signifying emptiness as the ultimate goal. The information I gathered from her made the visit so much more meaningful, reminding me that one should never be afraid to ask.

At each platform there is an open passage way round the axis. From a bird eye view Borobudur is like a mandala. Devotees are supposed to circumambulate clockwise from the base level to the top, a spiritual journey towards higher state of consciousness. That morning however we had to quickly ascend vertically to catch the sunrise and to experience the spiritual atmosphere of the temple floating above the clouds overhanging the mountain. To me it is like getting just a momentary glimpse of what lies at the end of this spiritual journey. To really get there you need to do the gradual circumambulation and ascent, a circumambulation towards the centre of self.

On my return I am so intrigued that I began to read more about Borobudur. Only then did I know how much more meaning I would have attested to the reliefs and the whole structural architecture and its surroundings among the mountains. Perhaps I need to revisit Borobudur one more time. This time I shall make my way there in the afternoon, walk each level starting from the base platform. I shall equip myself with the meaning of the sculptured reliefs at each platform. Slowly I shall go round each level before ascending the next. Upon reaching the top I shall wait for the sunset and its beckoning.

Follow the micro-trend

Read a review on Mark Penn's books entitled 'Microtrends Squared' and thought it will be a book worth reading. In the book the author lists 50 observations which in his words are ' new forces driving today's big disruptions'. Micro trends unlike macro trends are small forces which quietly redraw the norm of living ie. changes that are increasingly noticeable in everyday living. He categorises them into 6 groups, namely love and relationship, health and diet, technology, lifestyle, politics, work and business. The reviewer of the book thinks that many of these trends seem relevant to Singapore. In fact I notice such trends myself and can even relate to some of them.

One of the micro trend on relationship is that a greater percentage of husbands are playing 'second-fiddle' in the bread winning role in marriage. Now personally I experienced that before my retirement ie. if you consider yourself earning more than your husband by 20 to 30% but with him footing the big ticket expense items and you channelling money into reserves as fitting the second fiddle description. In retrospect I think I was wise to let him pay the big items to preserve the traditional provider role that a man wants to fulfill whilst being part of the changing trend of achieving wives..

Other than the trend of remaining single another observation the author made is that even married couples are living 'independent' parallel lives or sleeping in separate rooms. This excites me because I have harboured thoughts of sleeping in another room to get some real sleep without interruption from the snoring half. I will feel less guilty if that is fashionable, really. In fact visiting someone's small condo the other day made me feel how good it is to stay on your own with your own living space and then returning to a headquarter for meals and socialising with family. 

Just another interesting trend that tickles me is the growing fixation with pets. In my case I won't call it a fixation but I dutifully give my Miaomiao an organic aloe vera (from my garden) scrub weekly and my husband feeds it lemon grass (also from the garden) every morning. Yesterday night I was awakened by screams of cat fights and had to scramble out of bed to shoo away a stray cat lurking outside my gate. Well if that is not part of the emerging weird micro trends, what is?

Not Just a Fairy Tale

I was reading through a children book entitled "Snow Queen" to prepare for a story telling session at the library. Finding the fairy tale by Hans Anderson very interesting with its twists and turns I knew it has much symbolic meaning underlining the story. So I did some research and discovered to my amazement so much symbolism that is relevant even to our modern world. In other words Hans Anderson like Shakespeare observed human traits, strengths and weaknesses which are universal truths that live through time. He managed to capture in the story themes about life's journey fraught with temptations yet coloured with individual philosophy, transformation, love and charity.

Firstly the writer recognised the strength and determination in women, a tribute to women in a male-centric world. Among the various female characters, the evil Snow Queen was portrayed as one who mesmerized her victims with her dazzling beauty before turning their hearts to ice, eventually freezing to death. It is a stark reminder of spiritual death in the absence of love. In the book the main victim is a young boy called Kay who left everything behind including his warm memories and followed the Snow Queen in her shining carriage to her palace. Shafts of ice that resembled mirrors had pierced his eyes and heart. Anderson must have observed how men tend to be more obsessed with their own image and pomp ( distorted mirror vision) and in pursuit of grandeur leave their feelings and empathy behind.

The main female character is his best friend, a girl named Gerda who was determined against all odds to look for him (theme of sacrifices). She faced many hurdles and used both intellect and intuition to overcome them, often resorting to nature to lead the way and going with the flow as a last resort. In one instance she was misled by her own conviction that a young man whom a princess took as a groom was Kay, only to be utterly disappointed. This subplot  in the story illustrates how in desperation people adopt false hopes.  Along the way Gerda found support from many female characters who are portrayed with various human traits and some of them had their own agenda in helping her or expected something in return. Among the supporters was a little robber girl who finally gave in to her inherent compassion to help Gerda unconditionally. In the final leg of her search a reindeer could not bring Gerda any further in the long journey and she had to break through sheaths of ice on her own . This signifies how in life we have to accept the fact that we need our own resolves to accomplish our goals. When Kay was saved from being frozen to death by the Gerda's tears, love transformed even the coldest hardened heart. The story is realistic in that the Snow Queen was not punished  a symbol that evil still exists

Apparently Snow Queen is Anderson's most ambitious fairy tale. So much meaning and relevance to life is embedded in a fairy tale. It pays for an adult story teller to research into the symbolism so that when telling the story to children one knows how to subtly bring the messages across. It is not just a fairy tale after all.

Think before you click

The government is seeking public opinion on section 377A of the penal code as to whether it should be repealed. The code penalises gay sex.  I am not here to argue one way or another but find some opinion put forth for and against quite intriguing.

The National Council of Churches does not support the repeal as it is deemed harmful for individuals, families and society as a whole. "The council urges Christians to pray that God will protect the institution of marriage and family because they are indispensable for the well-being of the future generation and the flourishing of our society".

The question that comes to my mind is why the 'institution of marriage and family' is of such importance to the church. Has it an ancient historical origin to preserve the human race and reinforced centuries later by the need to ensure Christians would continue to propagate and grow in numbers to combat the muslim turks during the Crusades. No doubt Christians believe the Bible which is God's words advocates marriage with threefold objectives. First to reflect God's image as he created both man and woman, second to reproduce and third to reign (Genesis 1:28).

When I google on Genesis 1:28 "Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground," my instant response was we have multiplied in such numbers to send so many other species into extinction we should really give others a chance.

On the other side of the scale, advocates of the repeal quote human rights and evidence that homosexuality is inborn and is present even in nature. To me it is quite obvious that some people are born with this orientation.. I have read and personally know of families that have endured untold sufferings because of society's stigma. Yet what I fear is not so much a slide down the slippery rope of morality but more of the tendency to develop even the slightest tendency towards homosexuality.

The above are just off the cuff response and my understanding of the implications is superficial. I have not researched and thought through enough to vote either way if called upon to do so at a referendum. One must understand fully the arguments put forth by both sides and not blindly jump in to support either party based on cultural preconditioning and bias either way. That is what we have to do to be fair to our fellow human beings. So at least think through before you click on the next request to sign an online petition.