The Opportunity to Excel

In another step forward to cater to different skills/abilities of our school going children, the government is starting a new school for primary school leaving students who may not be so academically inclined. Students wishing to be admitted to this new specialised Normal (Technical) school, Crest Secondary School, will be students who qualify for the Normal (Technical) stream based on their PSLE results and who are assessed by teachers to benefit more from hands-on activity based learning.

Apparently, this new school will have some flexibility to customise its teaching approach to suit students' learning styles, with an emphasis on practical learning. Graduates can go on to ITE, apprenticeship at trade-based institutes or seek employment.

On whether there will be a stigma that may be attached to attending a school specialising in N(T) education, Mr Chris Lee, who is on the school's board of directors, said: "Between stigma and an opportunity to excel, I would choose opportunity to excel, rather than stick to a mainstream academic stream and slowly see your interest dwindle away."

From my own engagement with my student counselees, I can attest to the aptness of this remark. Nothing can crush a student's confidence and interest more quickly than allowing a student to continue lagging behind in class failing to grasp the contents of what is being taught. The child's self esteem also takes a tremendous toll. The only means to restore hope and self worth is to let the student feel that there is some field or area which he/she can master. I had a case of a girl whose presenting issue was high absenteeism due to lack of interest in school coupled with not being able to fit in a class dominated by rowdy and badly behaved boys. She was also unable to speak audibly. However she loved to draw and her initial communication with me was through her drawings and short written phrases. Slowly through my affirmation of her drawing skills we went on to explore other abilities she was capable of. When she discovered she could spell if she put in enough effort, she would inevitably start our counselling sessions by writing profusely on a piece of paper all the words in the spelling list for the week. From thereon I also taught her how to look straight into the naughty boys' eyes and told them to get lost. As her confidence picked up she also began to speak up audibly.

Then there was another case of a boy who was diagnosed with dyslexia only this year when he was in primary 5. His presenting issue for counselling was disruptive behaviour in class. He shared with me that he was bored in class because most of the time he didn't know what was going on. During one session I showed him a video, a cartoon entitled "What is it like being dyslexic". At first I was rather disappointed when he told me he had already watched the video. However as we watched he eagerly highlighted to me the parts that left deep impression in him. One of the part was when the teacher in the cartoon bowed down to the dyslexic child to ask for forgiveness for calling him stupid and lazy before understanding his learning difficulty. Another point he remembered very clearly was the statement that each and every one is good in different field. It seems to me it is his impassioned cry not to be dismissed as not good in anything and that he too can be strong in other ways.

It is rather unfortunate that our social culture predominantly admires people who are very smart academically. Indeed Gardner's theory of multiple intelligence includes: Spatial,Linguistic,Logical/mathematical,Bodily/kinesthetic,Musical,Interpersonal,intrapersonal and Naturalistic. Traditionally our education system has too much emphasis on the logical/mathematical and linguistic skills (maths and reading/writing).

Let us hope that going forward our education system will be flexible and dynamic enough to discover the particular type of intelligence each child is endowed with and help the child to excel in that field. Although it may not be directly relevant but I do think that narrowing the differences in salaries in different fields will also promote social attitude and respect for all types of occupations and people with different skills. Sad, but that's the only way in our materialistic society of clever but not so wise people.

Memories of that Box

I read in the papers about Redifussion closing shop at the end of this month. It has been in operation for more than 6 decades, 63 years to be precise. I am a bit surprised though that it is just 6 years older than me because my earliest childhood memory includes this square wooden box perched at a height on the wall. It provided whole day entertainment to the tailors working in our home in KL for my father's tailoring business. Needless to say their favourites were myths, legends and historical epics told by Li Dai Soh. Some of our tailors were illiterate too and depended on redifussion to receive the latest news update in Cantonese. Redifussion had other uses as well. I can still vividly remember the exact melody that blared from the brown box waking me with a shudder for school. It was the music which announced the start of broadcast at 6am daily. As an alarm clock it never ever failed us. Other than Li Dai Soh's animated story telling there were also various audio dramas which depended on dialogue, music and sound effects to stir our imagination. Indeed we the children became so addicted that my mum worried that we were too distracted to do our homework properly. Thus she imposed a curfew much to the distress of our workers. No one was allowed to turn on the Redifussion when the children were home from school. What a pity, I could have gathered so much more about Chinese history through Li Dai Soh's historical epics.

Almost every family subscribed to Redifussion. When I was 15 my elder sister, younger brother and I moved from KL to stay at my aunty's shophouse in Selegie Road, Singapore. I could enjoy Redifusssion again. On Sundays the shop house was deserted as my aunty and her family would spend the weekends at their new house. The Selegie shop house was haunted and I could bear witness to that. Can you imagine the nervous thrill of listening to ghost dramas in a haunted house every Sunday evening! My sister, little brother and I would huddle together near the Redifussion almost feeling the presence of other audience.

In 1982 when the Singapore government banned all broadcast in dialects my grandmother was in rage and scolded LKY. When not playing mahjong she would be listening to Redifussion's Cantonese programs whilst sewing, preparing meals or meddling with the contents of her cupboard. How pathetically docile our generation was then. We didnt even fight for our parents or grandparents' rights to simple entertainment. Redifussion was for her what the ipod is for us today. Can you imagine taking the ipod/iphone away from a youngster. No wonder she cried foul and murder. That box will always remain as part of the sweet memories cherished by people of my generation.

Fairy Tales are True.

For my story telling sessions at the library I rely heavily on Western fairy tales. I find that fairy tales have a grip on the children and can hold their attention longer. Are fairy tales all that airy fairy as they seem? I remember when we were in school my elder sister who is Chinese educated condemned Western fairy tales as superficial and vain as compared to Chinese myths and legends. She opined that Chinese legends are steeped in moral teachings whilst western fairy tales always spin around prince and princesses and often end with them living happily ever after.

Contrary to being airy fairy, I have recently learnt that western fairy tales consist not only of moral teachings on a superficial level but also have complex metaphors which symbolize the common internal struggles in the journey of life. Whilst the fairy tale appears fanciful and unrealistic it is often true metaphorically.

Fairy tales can be very dark reflecting the aggressive and dark side in us. Children can relate to fairy tales because they are actually pyschologically fearful of their own aggressiveness and the dark side of their personalities. So when a princess or a maiden has to kiss a frog or an ugly beast to restore it to its original self, the story is telling us that we have to embrace and acknowledge the "ugliness" or shadow in us to become whole. The shadow is that part of us that we want to hide from others. Likewise the marriage between the royal household and peasantry symbolizes the unity of opposites.

Going on a long journey or travelling to a faraway land, a common theme in fairy tales, is really about life's journey. Many fairy tales also feature a descent into a well, a dark cave or a long narrow staircase. This is a symbol of going deep into our unconscious or deeper psyche to discover the truth. It may also symbolize a regression in our psyche like a depression or other neurotic afflictions. Often animals provide assistance to the traveller which is a metaphor of the need to connect with our primordial instincts and creativity or to listen to the wisdom of nature. An evil witch on the other hand may represent the negative mother complex whilst a fairy godmother that of a positive mother complex. An abandoned child or orphan in a fairy tale can very well relate to the feeling of abandonment or loss in a man's life when the mother-child unity phase in him has been severed too abruptly in childhood or when his development of a separate entity from his mother has been too quick or prematured.

Stories about old childless couples longing for a child give hints about the lack of growth and generation in our psyche. So too are those stories about retired or discharged soldiers returning home with nothing to live on. These tales could well represent people who have fought the wars in their life or retired from their career but find themselves lacking the psyche energy to live on. In almost all fairy tales the main character has to undergo several trials (usually 3 in number) before reunification or resolution takes place. Where resolution comes in the form of the overthrow of a king or death of an evil creature, it is a metaphor that renewal or change is required for growth and reconciliation.

Apparently you can find out quite a fair bit about yourself by paying attention to the fairy tale that engages you deeply. Pay attention to the affect ie. the emotions that it evokes in you as well as the turning points in the stories that pull you in. Incidentally, one of the courses that a Jungian psychoanalysts has to undergo is the interpretation of fairy tales! Amazing isn't it.

Well now when I prepare a fairy tale for my story telling sessions I can use some analysis for my own amusement. So whilst the children enjoy the fantasies and the magic I can tune in instinctively and metaphorically. Who knows maybe the children who have still not lost their primordial instincts can actually relate to them more intuitively than I can. No wonder they always draw nearer and nearer when the tale is told!

Knowing Yourself

If you really want to understand yourself better, try sitting down to recall, deeply ponder and answer comprehensively the following 5 questions suggested by the author of the book "Sacred Selfishness" (by Bud Harris):

1) Which emotions were you raised to think were good and bad?

2) Which behaviour, values and appearances were rewarded or discouraged?

3) What did you learn your self esteem depend on?

4) Did you learn the world was a supportive or hostile place?

5) Do you believe people are basically generous or out for themselves?

Take the first question. An example of what may be considered as a "bad" feeling in many families is anger. So kids brought up in such families may learn to hide/suppress their anger. In another extreme example a child caught laughing or being happy may be considered as selfish or unfilial by parents who think their children should share their misery in marital or financial woes. A child then grows up thinking the world is a sad place or it is safer to be or look moody.

About behaviour and values it is quite obvious that good education, hardwork, responsibility, accomplishment are valued in most Asian families. Risk taking may be frowned upon. Keeping up appearances even when things are not going right may also be important in some families. I am wondering whether these values which we imbued on the younger generation have a part to play on yesterday's report in the papers about Singaporeans facing extinction. Apparently we have the lowest fertility rate in the world. The drive to be successful and accomplished has sidelined the need to have a family as the later is viewed as an impediment to the former.

Attributes of self esteem (3rd question) is heavily influenced by the family and social systems too. So some people are moulded such that their self esteem depends on external sources like body image, academic performance, status/wealth or approval/admiration from others. In other systems self esteem may be based on certain values like being morally upright, being spiritual or having certain character traits.

The family system, school environment and community behaviour help shape one's beliefs and answers to the last 2 questions. An environment where a lot of bullying happens or where the weak and the less privileged are viewed and treated condescendingly, a child grows up believing the world is hostile and unforgiving. They may also believe themselves as inferior or undeserving if they belong to the less privileged group.

If you do spend some time carefully answering the 5 questions and then reflecting upon them you will be able to uncover some of the driving forces in your life and how you are wired up. With deeper contemplation you may also realise the shadows which you suppressed or deny about yourself. Using myself as an example, I recalled that being useful right from early childhood ie. helping out as much as possible in the family business would win some affection or praises in a large family when one could easily feel ignored. This "utilitarian" quality dominates my life to an extent that makes me feel guilty if I have too much of fun loving activities. Also, I am not shy to admit that my irritation and disapproval of certain weakness in certain people whom I strongly dislike actually boils down to my strife to hide and deny that very trait in myself.

Well, this is just one small aspect. You can discover loads more about yourself if you do not mind spending time to know yourself.

The tale of the 3 trees

Came across a book which was so meaningful but could not be used for storytelling because of the religious sensitivity. In the story there were 3 trees. One aspired to be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world filled with precious stones and jewels . Another longed to be a large and sturdy ship that could help a powerful king build an empire. The third tree wanted to be the tallest tree on earth so that its height would remind people of heaven. Eventually the trees were felled but their ambitions took rather different routes.

The wood from the first tree was made into an ordinary trough to hold hay in a stable. Soon a shepherd and his heavily expectant wife came. The wooden trough served as a crib for their newborn child. The wood from the second tree was carved into a boat whereupon some fishermen were in when a storm struck. One of the men in the boat calmed the sea. The third tree was felled much to its dismay. Its wood however was made into 2 beams, one long and one short to form a cross. A man was nailed on this cross.

The story is very Christian indeed but has so much values embedded therein. If I were allowed to tell the story in a non religious context I would say the love and comfort provided for the newborn babe by the trough of hay brought more joy to the first tree than any precious stones would. I would then describe how the boat which carried the fishermen had a bountiful catch and provided food to the villagers instead of the sufferings a conqueror's ship would have brought. Hmm.... what about the cross? Well maybe one can say that during a crucifixion the cross suffered as much if not more pain as the person being crucified, in particular the cross that held a person by the name of Jesus. Because of its compassion it too was reaching out to heaven.

Most important of all however is knowing that each and every one of us has a meaning to be in the world, no matter how difficult or seemingly humble the role may be.

The Disconnect

If you are overwhelmed and bored with parliamentary debates on housing, education, transport etc look up the speeches made by 2 NMPs Laurence Lien and Faizah Jamal. The latter is a lecturer in Environment education and focuses on heritage and environmental preservation and education whilst the former focuses on "social realities on the ground". Laurence Lien's speech on "social recession" in Singapore is quite a good read. Mind you coming from a super wealthy background (he is the grandson of Lien Yien Chow)it is quite surprising that he can appreciate real social problems. But then he is the CEO of the National Volunteer and Philantropy Association and the governor of the Lien Foundation.

Faizah Jamal spoke of her surprise of how "disconnected" our students are with nature beyond perhaps the once a lifetime nature study project in primary school. She believes that nature study is in itself a "value based educator". She described how children feel the sense of "awe" and "wonder" during the nature walks that she conducts. This she believes will help inculcate a sense of love for the country. I remembered my son once suggested that his little sense of belonging to the country may be because we do not have a land mass. I dismiss this as pure nonsense as many cities in the world do not have land masses as well and yet the citizens feel for their countries. He counter argued that most cities however have a hinterland of their own to retreat to.

One of Faizah Jamal's statements rings in my head which reads as follows:

"More importantly I am struck by the impact this disconnect (with nature) has on their relationships with other people and the world around them, and what is worse, their relationship with their own selves". She then goes on to share about her own experience of how nature offered comfort and supported her and her daughters when they were undergoing some life challenges some years ago.

Jamal's speech hits a chord with my own experience with a client at school. I have a sandtray and loads of symbols and figurines in my counselling room where I use sandplay therapy with some of the clients. A boy whose presenting issue is stress/anxiety from meeting parents' as well as his own expectations used coloured marbles to lay 2 walking paths. The yellow marbles led to an apple farm which he enacted by hanging some small plastic fruits on a little plastic tree. (This boy frequently visits his uncle in Australia who has apple trees in his garden). He used some green coloured marbles to lay another path in the sandtray. The puzzle however was that the path did not seem to lead anyway ie. hitting one side of the tray. I asked him where the green path led to. He said it was to the jungle. He could have easily enacted a jungle with other trees and leaves available but he did not. He said he loved the jungle because it was filled with wild lives. I then wondered out aloud where the jungle was. His reply was "It is sealed" "You can never go in".

I wonder whether his inner psychic is expressing his longing to connect with nature and how it is "sealed" for him. Is this the "Disconnect" Jamal was referring to? "Impacting their relationship with other people, the world around them and even their own selves"?

Leap Year Resolutions

Today is 29th Feb in a leap year. I do think 29th Feb is a good day to make some resolutions. Annual resolutions often fail because one year is really too quick to make things work, isn't it. The same can not be said for a period of four solid years. If you have just given birth, how you bond with the baby before the next leap year will affect his sense of trust and security. If you have a teenager just entering secondary school you have to become his friend or you will lose him by the next leap year. If you are a freshman in college, you probably need to think about your place in the workforce in the next leap year. If you are just into a relationship, you my need to decide on some form of commitment by the next leap year. And if you are approaching 60 you literally have only a handful of leap years left to live out your dreams (hopefully). So I think making some resolutions on the special day of a leap year is practical and probably more effective.

Now for myself I hope (there I go again just "hoping")rather I will try to achieve the following ("try"...sigh):

1. Acquire more skills to work with children as I find this area very uplifting.

2. Learn and practise meditation to develop a sense of calm and quiet. The ultimate goal is to maintain equanimity in the midst of life’s inevitable turbulence.

3. To expose myself beyond the confines of our city state and its siloed structures. The best outcome would be to live part of each year in another country. This should help in broadening perspectives in how we view things.

And of course there is one or two other quiet resolves that can not be made public for their non accomplishment can be embarrassing. The objective of making known the above 3 resolutions is to corner myself to act on them after having made such public declarations brashly. Well, if I don't expire before the next leap year, I have 4 (not 1) years more to act, haven't I?