Monday, May 8, 2023

Eyes that talk

 

In an article in the ST on 7 May 2023, a journalist describes her experience attending a a class in clowning. Participants were taught how to use their bodies to play, connect and make one another laugh.

One tip shared by her teacher interests me. To try to make the group laugh she told the class to look at one person in the audience 'as though you are in love with him, and wink'. 'Eye contact is key to good clowning'.

This idea made me recall a workshop which I conducted recently for children aged 11 to 14 whose parents divorced. This was my first time running the workshop for an older age group. I have all along been conducting workshop (for children caught in between parents' conflict ) for the younger group between 6 to 10 years. Whilst the younger group workshop requires more activities to catch and retain their attention, the structure of the older group workshop is more content heavy.

2 boys aged 13 and 14 seemed to convey to me their feelings and their thoughts when they looked at me in the eyes. They were not very vocal which is common among boys not wanting to share their experiences in front of others, but when I spoke of the normal feelings and misbeliefs children from divorce families have, the way they looked deep into my eyes told me they could relate to what had been said. Such response also drew me closer to them like breaking a barrier which helped me connect like a friend or mentor. I was touched by the intense look I got from them when I spoke of strategies to help them cope.

The article went on to quote a clown doctor (therapist) who said "if there is no eye contact, there is a decreased likelihood of interaction........There must be a breath, a moment of recognition.....You see me, and I see you. We are now sharing this moment'.

As the saying goes, 'Where words are restrained the eyes often talk a great deal'- Samuel Richardson


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