Just a Car

 One of the media we use to counsel kids is a pack of cards called "Car-R-Us". The pack contains pictures of cars in different conditions and expressing different feelings. So for instance there is a frightened car  hanging over a cliff, a picnic van under sunny skies and a broken down car being towed. The cards serve as conversation pieces for expressing feelings and for goal searching. Another card depicts the four wheels of a car representing the body, the mind, the feelings and the doing. We use it to help clients understand how these 4 parts of ourselves are inter related. We help the client identify their feelings and the impact on the body or vice versa. We ask them to be aware of what they are thinking and how it leads to certain actions and their consequences. We also try to coach the client take control as driver of the car. 

I have always understood the theory but as I grow older I become more aware of the relevance and insight into the allegory of this concept. I fathom the need to drive the car and not let it run wild.

We spend a whole life time to protect and keep the body 'wheel' in good condition. We consciously need to avoid bad habits and promote healthy living. That's a lot of discipline. When the body is out of whack we feel anxious and miserable. Similarly feelings like stress cause the body to tense up resulting in body pain and susceptibility to illnesses.

Feelings (in the feeling wheel) creep onto us stealthily sometimes triggered by thoughts (memories, worries, regrets for example). 

Research has also shown that behaviour or actions (in the action wheel) can create emotions. For example inactivity can cause depression. Hence we often teach children to identify what they enjoy doing and pursue such activity when they feel sad.

Finally the 'thinking wheel' in my opinion is the most challenging 'wheel' to control. Memories and conditioning of the past, thoughts of the future, fears and worries, a comparing mind, a mind full of unmet needs, a mind of  regrets when spun incessantly arouse a host of negative feelings. On the contrary training the mind to take pauses and be quiet bring our body back to equilibrium. 

Sometimes I feel like these four 'wheels' of ourselves are really quite a nuisance, having to monitor and direct at all times. This is especially so when unfavourable external circumstances arise. Like when a nasty fog descends onto the narrow roads you are driving on, you have to exercise extra care and patience. 

Perhaps the biggest insight is really to recognise that the car and its 4 'wheels' (our 4 faculties) is an external object and we are here just to drive it as carefully as we can and as best as we can manage. We need not be too attached because its just a car.