At Steve Job's memorial service guests were given his last gift, a book entitled "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Yogananda, a book about self realization and one which he re-read many times in his lifetime. Curious I begin to read it slowly. Other than the main theme about finding who you are, there are among its pages many snippets of wisdom and useful insights into life.
On page 160 Yogananda recounted how he once left his guru abruptly for awhile without seeking permission and leaving his duties unattended. When he returned he asked his guru why he was not angry with him at all. Sri Yukteswar's, the guru replied "Wrath springs only from thwarted desires. I do not expect anything from others, so their actions cannot be in opposition to wishes of mine. I would not use you for my own ends: I am happy only in your own happiness."
How true! "Thwarted desires" and unmet expectations give rise to anger and frustrations that mar relationships. Often human interaction is about using another to meet our own needs including the need to be loved and other subtle psychological or emotional needs.
Results from a study has shown that among couples, those who don't expect sacrifices from their partners tend to feel more appreciation and are more satisfied with their relationship.
I think if we can be less attached to self wishes and desires we will save a lot of reasons to be disappointed and angry with others we are engaging with.
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