Life of Duty

 

" I slept and dreamed that life was joy,

   I awoke and saw that life was duty.

   I acted, and behold duty was joy."

   Rabindranath Tagore

A religious teacher was asked how best to cope in taking care of a difficult and 'toxic' parent or person under one's care. The reply can best be summarised by the above poem which I stumbled across. 

The questioner found it difficult to comprehend how acting out of duty can bring joy especially if the parent/person is not someone one respects. Wouldn't just being bound by a sense of duty makes one acts begrudgingly.

The teacher explained that when pride and ego takes over, one questions the worthiness of the person being cared for. One thinks one is doing a great service or granting a huge favour in serving them. One becomes a judge of another's character, whether the recipient is good enough for spending time and effort on. That is a lot of arrogance whereas caregiving needs one to be humble.

As to how it will bring joy, the teacher suggested that joy will be felt eventually without too much thinking and reasoning. It is like a call of duty which one is meant to carry out. I think he implies it is like one of the caregiver's life purposes. Just doing it unconditionally would bring joy.

By the same reasoning one's duty to a spouse is similar. Constant thinking how a spouse falls short of one's expectation strains the relationship. Again it is ego and pride at play thinking " I deserve better ". 

Well I did pick up a lesson on arrogance and garnered some self awareness.