Surrogate Grandma

A few years back when Tan Chuan Jin was the minister for Social and Family Development the counselling centre I volunteered with had a dialogue with him. I participated in the dialogue and suggested that MSF tap the big pool of retirees to provide counselling services in the community after being trained. Obviously my suggestion was not noted.

In an article entitled "Life begins at 60" the writer described how the value of experience and wisdom in senior citizens was tapped by a psychiatrist in Zimbabwe. To provide counselling service in rural areas the doctor has to train villagers. It turned out that grandmothers proved to be the most effective. The study showed that patients who received 6 one-to-one therapy sessions from the trained grandmothers had a lower incidence of depression and anxiety after 6 months. The doctor ascribed the grandmothers' effectiveness to empathy, good listening skills and an ability to reflect.

It is often said that whatever techniques used by counsellors, their potential effectiveness is weak unless the counsellor is successful in building a strong therapeutic alliance with the client. Older people tend to be less judgmental, more authentic and having experienced much in their lives  display a more accepting attitude towards life's difficulties. They also know which are the effective and ineffective ways to cope with negative events.

Even if the ministry is apprehensive of Singapore grandmothers assuming a professional social work or counselling role, this rich pool of retirees can always be tapped as mentors, befrienders or if you will just being the missing "mother" or "grandmother" in the lives of many children from dysfunctional families.