So much talk on Inequality

The current focus on the subjects of inequality and social divide must have overwhelmed me such that I had a strange dream yesterday. I dreamed that in a group therapy I spotted a girl who was my counselee when I was working in a neighbourhood primary school. In the dream she wanted to talk to me in private so she won't be embarrassed. When alone she narrated how she had fared badly having been streamed to Normal Academic (for the least academically inclined in the cohort) and even then she feared she would be at the bottom of the NA class. In my dream I was surprised that she did so badly and she kind of explained that the subject she was good at was not taken into account for determining the position in class. I can remember I was feeling at a loss on how to comfort her in my dream. I could only utter lame statements like taking things a step at a time.

The dream highlighted where I intuitively stand in the ongoing debate on whether the government has done sufficiently to help the disadvantaged including students from the lower socio economic strata. A lot of statistics has been thrown flying around and controversy abound on their methodology and relevance.

The main themes in my dream seem to be low self esteem (embarrassment) and low recognition of certain skill (subject the girl was good at being ignored). From my experience as a school counsellor in a neighbourhood primary school and engagement with children in a children's home I can fully understand how a disadvantaged family background greatly hampers the child's ability to keep up with his cohort not to mention to excel. A OECD report said that disadvantaged students in Singapore fared well in comparison to their peers globally but find it hard to match up to the top performers within the country for eg only one in ten of Singapore's disadvantaged students has scores which match their top peers (those whose scores are in the 75th percentile).

The report also found that the disadvantaged students are congregating in disadvantaged schools. The Ministry of Education needless to say came out with the defence that all schools in Singapore are well facilitated and there is no such thing as a disadvantaged school. What they seem to miss is that the segregation of schools by academic performance has resulted in adverse perverse psychological set back in schools predominated by less academically inclined students. There is a sense of shame, hopelessness and negative self image.  This negative image is in no small part accelerated by the prevalent societal disrespect for low paying jobs due to the absence of a minimum wage. Where wage disparity is less stark, there is more pride and less discouragement in people holding less well paid jobs as can be seen in countries like Japan. There is pride even if a person excels in a skill that places him in a job that pays relatively less ie. society respects every job in the market.

Educational inequality coupled with income inequality (in no small part due to the absence of a minimum wage) is a psychological backlash for students in the bottom of the cohort. Fortunately in todays news the government is finally setting up a Inter-Agency task force to find out the underlying causes behind the students lacking behind and aims at helping children from disadvantaged homes meet their full potential.

At times when engaging with children in the children's home I have been amused by their wit and laments quietly how much more they could have developed their potentials given the right environment. Hopefully if the task force is really committed I would have less of such moments of wonder.

The Pendulum chime

I am watching Towards The Republic a second time now after many years. It's a tv serial out of China tracing the fall of the Qing Dynasty and the 1911 Chinese Revolution. The production is meticulous in creating the setting and undercurrent of that era. The camera follows the body movement of the main characters to bring out the feeling, the mood and their predicament. I also notice the frequent use of the sounding of the pendulum clock. In various scenes the ticking of a clock or the chime of the pendulum clock either gives a sense of urgency or eventuality/destiny. I also feel that the Qing royalty's obsession with the western mechanical clocks throws a pathetic irony of the situation during that time ie. their fascination with western ways and technology yet being trapped in a time warp of old traditions and practices.

Just a few days ago the Straits Times published an article entitled US-China tensions: Lessons from the Opium War by Leslie Fong . In the late eighteenth century and the first half of the nineteenth century the demand for tea by Britain and the West was not matched by any needs from China of  western products. Hence China demanded only silver in exchange for the tea until the East India Company found the solution in opium. When the Chinese burnt 20,000 chests of Opium in 1840 in an attempt to terminate the opium addition/scourge a divided British parliament debated on whether to launch a war on China.  In the end the pro war faction won just by 5 votes. The young William Gladstone who would later become the PM for 4 terms remarked " I am in dread of the judgements of God upon England for our national iniquity towards China," a moral trepidation certainly. Fast forward 180 years and history repeats itself in terms of the trade imbalance but now the table has turned with the West fearing China's growing power and supremacy. The British Empire has fallen a long way too.

Now when I watch the tv serial and the pendulum clock sounds in the background I tend to think that the swing of the pendulum also symbolises the repeat of history as well as the rise and fall of nations and that everything has its own rhythm

The Prudish ageist

When an article in the Straits Times on aging well highlights 3 tips in bold: stay passionate, eat wisely and manage pain, I was expecting to get some ideas on vocations or hobbies which people are passionate about to keep their mind and body active. I was literally shocked when it suggests that older adults can have 'satisfying sex lives even as their bodies change with age', not that it is untrue but more of the inappropriateness in being so direct. I am surprised how blatant it is to even recommend a certain position for the elderly.  I was also laughing that all the old men now have excuses to be promiscuous if their wives' sexual inclinations do not match theirs.

Then I paused and questioned whether I am being prudish. Why do people generally think that old people do not engage in sex or are perceived as 'gross' if they do ? For example I thought it unbelievable that the urologist they interviewed had an 83 year old patient seeking treatment for sexual dysfunction, (perception of age being relative I guess). On deeper thought it occurred to me that it has to do with ageism and society embracing youth. It is assumed that older people should behave in certain ways because of their age and movies seem to imply only physically beautiful young bodies engage in sex. I suppose sexuality in the young is also being focused for procreation purposes traditionally.

Having internalized all these negative stereotypes about aging for years it is no surprise that I can be an ageist even though I am elderly myself.

Borobudur

I encountered so many misses and hits from my visit to the Borobudur Temple. In the first place visiting Jogjakarta was not my original idea. Bothered by my husband's itch to travel somewhere less than 3 hours flight for a long weekend while taking advantage of promotion airfare, I settled for Jogjakarta from among destinations yet to visit. Knowing that Borobudur will be the highlight I did briefly scan some travel literature and website about its history and the things to look out for, but certainly not enough. Thus I draw the first lesson that intention is the cornerstone of actions and outcome, the lack of intention resulting in lackluster performance and experience.

From the attractive pictures showing sunrise over Borobudur I knew I had to sacrifice sleep for the pick up at 3.30 am to reach the site before sunrise. We reached just before 4.30 am and was given a torch each. I was surprised there was already quite a crowd and we just followed them in the dark. Due to poor communication and lack of initiative to find out more, I didn't know we were already at the temple grounds. From the posters at the travel agent's office I was under the impression we would be viewing sunrise over the temple from afar at some hill spot. In the dark we could not see the facade of the temple. If I knew we were actually at the temple grounds I would have strained my eyes to catch its looming greatness in the dark. Only when we started ascending the steps did we realise we were watching sunrise from the top of the temple . By the time we reached the top platform which housed the central dome it was bright enough to take in the whole scene. As the horizon gradually glowed in gold and pink and the mist shrouded over Mt. Merapi and the surrounding mountains, the dark silhouette of the stupas in Borobudur breathed their quiet presence. What an amazing sight! I looked up at the central stupa and there was the moon over its steeple as if affirming the feelings of connection I have inside me. To have these scenes emerging from darkness was quite an awesome experience, quite like a gradual awakening. Sacrificing a few hours of sleep yielded immeasurable gratification.

I wished I had read more about the reliefs sculptured at each of its 9 levels or for that matter hired a guide. The reliefs tell numerous stories and are rich with symbolism. I spotted a middle aged lady guide left standing on her own while waiting for her group of white tourists busy taking pictures. I struck a conversation with her and for that I picked up one of the most important symbol about Borobudur. I did read about how the stacking of each platform symbolises the ascent from basic desire to higher consciousness and finally to enlightenment at the central stupa, but I was totally thrilled when the guide shared that while each of the 72 surrounding stupas houses a Buddha statue, the central dome stupa is empty, thus signifying emptiness as the ultimate goal. The information I gathered from her made the visit so much more meaningful, reminding me that one should never be afraid to ask.

At each platform there is an open passage way round the axis. From a bird eye view Borobudur is like a mandala. Devotees are supposed to circumambulate clockwise from the base level to the top, a spiritual journey towards higher state of consciousness. That morning however we had to quickly ascend vertically to catch the sunrise and to experience the spiritual atmosphere of the temple floating above the clouds overhanging the mountain. To me it is like getting just a momentary glimpse of what lies at the end of this spiritual journey. To really get there you need to do the gradual circumambulation and ascent, a circumambulation towards the centre of self.

On my return I am so intrigued that I began to read more about Borobudur. Only then did I know how much more meaning I would have attested to the reliefs and the whole structural architecture and its surroundings among the mountains. Perhaps I need to revisit Borobudur one more time. This time I shall make my way there in the afternoon, walk each level starting from the base platform. I shall equip myself with the meaning of the sculptured reliefs at each platform. Slowly I shall go round each level before ascending the next. Upon reaching the top I shall wait for the sunset and its beckoning.