Respect for the wise elders?

 One evening while on a package tour to Beijing and Xian, we were resting in a lounge at a restaurant waiting to be seated for lunch. A local family was seated opposite us. My attention was drawn to a toddler running around falling from one adult's arms to another. Six adults' attention was on him encouraging him , complimenting his dexterity or lovingly chiding his mischief. From their conversation I guess they were his parents and 2 sets of grandparents. So much love is showered on one child but I wonder whether this one child can be filial to 6 adults.

From my various visits to China led by local tour guides, I noticed that many of the older guides in their forties or late thirties often spoke about their parents with deference and how their parents deserved to enjoy their retirement. I also get the impression they take quite good care of their parents. The younger guides however, those in twenties and early thirties, seldom speak much of their parents. Of course I don't have enough statistics to make any conclusion but it may explain why China has to pass a Elderly Rights Law in 2013 making it a must for adult children to visit their parents.

Respect for the elders in most culture stems partly from the belief that wisdom increases with age and experiences in life. A lot then depends on what each society defines as wisdom. If wisdom is knowledge then it is just a click away in today's digital age and the young are more deft in acquiring knowledge. If wisdom is insight from past experience then the values adopted by a society must not be constantly shifting which will render such insight irrelevant. Changing values render different priorities in life between the young and old. Thus it may be hard to convince the young that with age comes wisdom in today's world of accelerating change.

Hence it is more urgent now than ever that respect for elders be instilled as part of moral and religious education. Embracing the aging process instead of shame around aging will help honour the elderly.

Waves in China

Just returned from a short trip to Beijing and Xian , my third and second visit respectively. My last visit to these 2 cities were in 2008. My advice to people who wish to see certain famous tourist attractions in China is to do so asap before the local China nationals become richer and richer. China in itself comprising 23 provinces and a population of 1.3 billion is like a big continent with many countries. In fact China's population is almost double that of Europe. Can you imagine what domestic tourism spending is like when every Chinese's dream in each of these 23 Chinese provinces is to visit each other or at least the must see places like Beijing's Great Wall and Xian's Terracota.

In 2008 when I visited the Forbidden City I was able to take my time to look into the throne room and the emperor's wedding chamber albeit at the barrier set up at the doorway. During the recent visit the throng of domestic tourists elbowing their way to catch a brief glimpse into these chambers deter one from such an attempt. The local guide said that was nothing to lament about compared to the peak seasons when one only sees the back of heads and for a child tourist only backsides. Back in 2008 when I stayed in Beijing for 2 weeks while my daughter was interning there, I ventured on a weekday into the long corridors of the Forbidden  City and deserted living quarters of the Imperial harem. There I lingered imagining the sorrowful lives wasted in those chambers where some imperial consorts never in their lifetime met the emperor. If you visit the Forbidden City today the noise and chatter permeates the whole palace and the ambiance for such mulling is impossible.

At pit 1 of the Teracotta Warrior Site in Xian, the museum guide assigned to our group was exasperated with us. He rebuked us for not maintaining our foothold when he managed to find a good viewing spot. Instead we were shoved away by waves of domestic tourists. In his effeminate voice, eunuch mannerism and cynical humour he nagged us for not being aggressive enough. Pit 1 really looked more like a refugee camp when we were there, on a weekday mind you.

China tourism data showed that 4 billion domestic trips were made in China in 2016, equivalent to 3 trips on an average per person in the population. The revenue from domestic travel amounted to RMB 3.9 trillion in 2016. The GDP per capita has doubled since my previous visit in 2008 from USD 3500 to USD 8000.

Therefore it is better to visit places in your wish list asap before the tide of Chinese national's holiday spending power surges further and swarms of Chinese tourists descend on those tourist attaractions, be it in the confines of China or even further ashore in Asia and Europe.

Beacon of Democracy

Following the Malaysia 2018 GE live on TV and social media caused some racing heartbeat moments for me. Analysts termed the 2018 GE as the mother of all Malaysia elections even before polling day because of the expected neck to neck fights between the ruling BN and the opposition parties. I recalled the racial riots that happened in 1969 following the street celebrations of DAP and other opposition parties which had garnered more seats than expected. In 1969 I was a teenager living in KL and experienced the tension and anxieties of the time. I thought to myself if the 2018 election is to be the mother even of the 1969 election, will there be unrest on even a bigger scale?

Almost half a century from 1969, news update comes from various sources and social media (TV, online news, WhatsApp mesages) almost instantaneously. What a far cry from 50 years ago when neighbours ran short distances across narrow streets during curfews to alert hearsay of impending attacks from rioters. I froze as I watched a video through WhatsApp showing the mobilistion of riot police at a counting centre in Ayer Hitam, Johor, after a huge crowd of opposition party supporters blocked the passage of cars entering the centre (apparently to stop the act of introducing fake ballot boxes by the ruling party). Another message showed troops stationed at the administrative capital in Putrajaya, KL (which was quickly refuted by the police). The outcry of the crowds in various videos made me really worried there would be unrest and bloodshed. Though I spent only a decade in KL they were during my formative years when I was schooled and which shaped much of my character and outlook. I always felt that whilst the subsequent Singapore utilitarian education gave me a good livelihood the Malaysian holistic education gave me a soul, hence my attachment to Malaysia.

As it turned out the 2018 Malaysia election was a peaceful revolution which toppled the corrupt ruling party which had been in power since independence, a victory of the people including my former classmates and my former neighbours. The voices of our Malaysian friends are heard and I rejoice with them in winning back their Malaysia, now a "beacon of democracy" in this region.

Giving

Mark Twain once said "To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with". My mother-in-law will fully agree with him. Just yesterday she struck lottery and won $4K. She gave each of her 10 grandchildren $200 despite the fact that all of them except for two are working adults. Knowing full well that her joy is derived from giving I encourage my 2 'kidults' to act really happy and appreciative.

Many of us are especially measured when comes to giving our time. Yet I also find that giving one's time brings the deepest joy. Many of the children in the Children's Home which I visit weekly love to play cooking, be they boys or girls. They love to play cooking up an elaborate meal for me. The delight on their faces when I pretend to relish the food, exclaiming how good the food smells and tastes, bounces onto me. These children rarely enjoyed home cooked meals even on their occasional weekend home leave. Hence they may project onto me their longing of a normal family life. My acceptance of their 'effort' gives them joy which infects me, a hard to describe fuzzy feeling which warms the heart.

It is easy to give when the recipient expresses appreciation and gratitude. How about giving without expectation of anything in return? In today's Sunday Times there is an article which relates growing incidences of children and youths sacrificing a lot of study or work time to take care of their parents due to a rising trend of people getting chronic disease at a younger age. This is especially hard if the parents are suffering from dementia or stroke which can change their personality and cognitive power. I think for these caregivers the 'joy' in giving  (if it can be called joy) takes on another format. Some caregivers find meaning and purpose and even pride in taking on the responsibility to meet the needs of another. One caregiver even described such fulfillment as spiritual.

"For it is in giving that we receive"-Francis of Assissi