The Art of Giving

I purchased a pot of peach blossom for CNY at a nursery. The lady proprietor quoted $38 and I asked for a discount. The lowest price she said she could sell was $35. I told her I'd pay $36 as it's a more auspicious number unless she didn't mind $33. She frowned but when she gave me the change for $50 I got $17 back.

This has been what I observed for quite a long while. When you give in a bit you receive more in return. It could be that people feel it's an obligation they have to repay.

After I quit my former finance job I pursued a Master in Counselling which required me to chalk up certain practicum hours in one-to-one counselling before I could pass out. I managed to intern at a family service center. However I needed to do administrative and reporting work as an intern, the hours of which were not counted as practicum hours. Some days I was given one counselling session with a client, some days none. I was also roped in to do survey work. In fact I had to find other sources to achieve my practicum hours. At the end of the internship however they offered me a job and when I declined the full time work the director recommended me for a part time school counselling job. Again I feel it was like an obligation on her part to pay me back for the hours I put in.

Nothing however can match what I receive from the voluntary sandplay session I offer the children at the children's home. Once I was having a session with a boy when we were suddenly disturbed by sounds of screaming and wailing piercing through the room. The boy's demeanor changed and he looked instantly disturbed. I asked what could be the matter. He told me it was his sister crying and she was quite likely being bullied. The social worker later told me that the boy had begged her to send his sister home so she won't be bullied. He could stay put in the home if their parents couldn't afford to have both of them back. So last week I asked for special permission to have a sandplay session with the sister who is 6 years old. The intensity she engaged with the play pulled my heartstrings.  I offered her a reassuring presence and tried my best to create a an enveloping atmosphere of safety and care.

Why I say I receive much more is this indescribable feeling you walk away with. When you show a child you care and you could tell from their response they felt it, the inner peace/content or perhaps the quiet joy is such a blessed gift you receive in return. Simply put you are happy because you make somebody happy.

So if giving something tangible can be like an investment yielding returns (sometimes playing on human psychology), giving from the heart yields much much more for your heart.

"The heart that gives, gathers"- Tao Te Ching