Surfacing the unconscious

For 3 consecutive nights I had strange dreams.

The first night I dreamt I was very angry with a certain close relative over some issue I could not remember. In the dream I behaved like someone deranged screaming, scolding and even spitting. I woke out relieved because such behaviour if true is unpardonable and would have cracked the relationship forever. My awakened self shivered and wondered whether I am really capable of such wrath and madness. I also tried to analyse whether there was any suppressed anger I might have harboured over this person but got no clue.

The second night I dreamt I was consoling someone. That someone suddenly became a small child sobbing uncontrollably. I held the child close to my heart urging her to let it out as if she was an adult and saying something to the effect that it was good for inner healing.

The third night I had one of my recurrent dreams. I used to have a recurrent dream of being lost or trapped. It would begin with me taking a lift up somewhere. The lift usually either gets stuck on the wrong floor or I have taken the wrong lift. I would then have to go by the stairs and they usually lead me to a dead end or to a back exit which I fear to venture. I would then wake up with great relief. Now on this third night I had the same dream. As usual after a failed lift ride I took the stairs that led me to the ground floor exit which when I looked out was a dead end. However the stairs could carry on downwards to a basement. This time round I ventured down further. When I peered out of the basement door I spotted 2 men lurking in the dark. Instead of retreating up the stairs I braved my fears and went out through the door. I spotted the building of my destination close by. That night was the first night I found my way to my destination in my dreams.

 The founder of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud believed that gaining insight into the unconscious or surfacing repressed emotions can help us address anxiety disorders. Making the unconscious conscious is cathartic.

 Now I reflect upon my 3 consecutive dreams. Could there be some repressed anger in childhood which I was not able to vent or let out whether it be because of cultural inhibition or self imposed morality. The first dream saw the id venting out in ways that scared my super ego. The second night could be my own inner healing and self compassion which then led to the third night where I found safety. Yet I wonder what was my anger all about. Could it be that my early anger was so censored that I have already forgotten and became unaware when that anger transformed to general anxieties which is the main theme in my recurrent dreams.

With these 3 consecutive dreams I certainly hope the failed lift rides are gone for good.