Lest one walks on and on confounded

Reading a novel by Joshua Ferris about a successful Manhattan lawyer who has a mental disorder of not being able to control his feet which can make him walk out in the middle of something important and go on for miles without stopping until fatigue, frostbite etc bring him collapsing at a gas station or public toilet. What I want to discuss are pages in the book where the guy talks about the inexhaustible list of treatment and cures he has sought and which have all failed. The list includes:

Neurologists and  MRIs
Psychiatrists' medication
Dieticians with their recommendation to cut nicotine, sugar, caffeine
Naturopath with magic roots, grass & carrot smoothies for body cleansing
Environmental psychologist blaming urban air, cell phone radiation, contaminated water table
Mayo Clinic (probably suspicion of addiction)
John Hopkin's suggestion of group therapy for compulsive behaviour
Cleveland Clinic's psychiatric conclusion of excessive "health-care-seeking" behaviour
Genealogical healer on the chance that something tragic had taken place in his past or that of his ancestors
Alternative medicine healer's concoction of  bat wing extract
Spiritual healer's "guided life-force energy"
Yoga, Reiki, Meditation
Panchakarma which in Ayurvedic medicine is a five fold detoxification treatment
Rebirthing therapy where he had to reenact his birth

In the story ( the storyline of which I do not intend to discuss ) the afflicted guy seeks each treatment with a new leash of hope but just as soon abandons it with disappointment dismissing some as quackery. He wants a quick fix. Of course if in Asia he would have included TCMs, acupuncture, chiropractic and other spiritual/faith healers.

I think of this list and the sandplay therapy that I am now practicing. In my research on sandplay therapy I have come across very strong comments about the absence of empirical evidence of its effectiveness. Very often when informing parents of how sandplay therapy works I focus on it being an expressive therapy whereby the child is able to express hidden feelings and surface repressed issues through the sand-picture or sand-story. I wouldn't even want to explain that sandplay therapy allows the child's psyche to unfold and constellate which brings about healing. I fear they may interpret it as some witchcraft. Already some parents give me that look of "How do you know my child is not just playing". It is difficult for them to see that even in "just playing" the child goes into deep spontaneity of their "inner language". How do you explain to them, that through play the child can draw on his own inner healing resources?

That explains the fact that parents usually place very low priority when scheduling such sandplay sessions making sure the child's tuition and other enrichment class timetable is not disrupted. Many could only afford the time during the school holidays, how sad. Can't blame them. Academic achievement comes first and tuition produces tangible results Emotional health at best ranks second and any progress is often slow and not easily noticeable. Even if they do value emotional health parents often have more faith in talk therapy believing that if they can't talk sense into their kids, surely counsellors can. To be fair there are also parents who think that sandplay session helps after just one session or 2 which I sometimes attribute it to be the placebo effect on the parents. Most however are in want of seeing quick fixes to prove time worth spending.

I thought parents nowadays, unlike my time, would have learnt to focus on emotional health  of their kids above all else. I must admit that for baby boomers it did not dawn on us that as parents we have to pay attention to the holistic development of our children; having been left to our own devices to grow up in the 60s and 70s. Looks like courses on parenting are really essential. I am glad MSF now runs a co-parenting program for couples and their children going through divorce. Part of the program aim to equip the children to express and manage their feelings.

We have to recognise that success is not only about status lest a child grows up to be a high achiever and then one day out of nowhere is hit by a compulsion to walk out of everything and continue walking miles and miles confounded by the "layers and layers of complexity ... he would never comprehend" or never had the chance to comprehend.