Out shopping

I told myself to pamper 'ME', go shopping and get something I really like, no budget constraint. So I did but nothing really excites me. Gosh isn't it scary? You walk the stores and nothing interests you, passionless. I thought of commenting on my niece's facebook "Lust for your branded bag. Enjoy your passion as long as it lasts".

Fortunately with further probing I know I still enjoy an aromatic massage; and yes little toy figurines still put a smile on my face (supposedly for my sandplay therapy but has developed partially into a hobby collecting them).

Well it's not every approaching birthday that stirs reflection, but certainly those that ends with the big zeros. If 30 marks the last of youth, what marks twice of that? So I go back to this book "The Veiled Pulse of Time" by William Bryant, recommended by our lecturer during the Holistic Counselling Course. The book describes life cycles, the 7, 12 and 30 year cycles. A few statements strike me.

Describing the 7 year phase between 56 to 63, there is this statement I can relate to, "We are not so easily fooled into believing that every problem has a fixed and instant answer". Yes, I think eventually everyone will learn this through the hard way. We will also experience each problem as a "process" "working itself out" and that ultimately every one has his or her own pilgrimage to follow.

About this cycle Byrant also says sickness, bereavement and loneliness are typically challenges which "demand a response from the soul" and "The last great victory is their endurance".  I like this because too often we view and expect ourselves sailing into the sunset being influenced by such silly cliches. So when such things happen we are resistant and angry, we thought it only happens to others. This is something I must remind myself constantly, to be mentally prepared. As Byrant further remarks "Aging helps us to sense that our biography is an inner journey through the outer world".


Maybe because of all these reflections I had a strange dream yesterday. Someone had prepared the dough for a cake but the oven was spoilt. I told him I will try to use the last remnants of my charm to persuade some chef in a restaurant to make use of his oven. Now the cake in the dream is just an association and shouldn't be of much significance (because lots of cake references lately). The idea behind is really something that must be brought to fruition, that must be baked, the last and most important step, and I need to use whatever remaining wit and charm.

Ah if only wisdom can be bought!