Mixed feelings in asking

Yesterday night I lay in bed wondering who amongst my friends and acquaintances are rich. Earlier on in the day I received an email from the ED of a VWO of whom I am now a committee member reporting poor table sales for the planned charity dinner. The cost of each table ranges from $5k to $20k. As we have already forwarded appeal letters to corporates through executives whom we know, we are now targeting individuals on a personal level.

Someone came to mind, someone in my taichi class, a guy whose company was taken over by a world leader in luxury goods. This guy has more than a $100m spare cash just based on public information on the sale. What is $5k or $20k for an extremely good course in helping disadvantaged families in Singapore, single mothers with unwanted pregnancies and youths at risk.

Before I even plan the way to approach him I began to predict how I will feel ie. I have loads of apprehensions to overcome. Earlier on even sending out emails to ex-colleagues and ex business associates to seek their help in getting their corporates to consider the appeal had stirred up mixed feelings in me. I had weighed carefully the words and language to use. I wanted the message to arouse their charitable minds but 'not on my account' ie. I don't want them to feel obligated or maybe  I wanted to minimize my feeling of indebtedness should they oblige. I also imagined how they might be pissed off being cornered into something not quite their cup of tea, just like being forced to buy a superfluous insurance product from a friend. In short I didn't want to be branded a 'pest' and treated like a plague in future. In addition I also mentally prepared myself the likelihood of being ignored totally, having lost all business/networking value. To sum up I just wanted to maintain the 'space' in relationships which keeps us safe and less vulnerable. I guess there is just too much unnecessary fear and pride going on here.

Sigh...I really got to weigh the value of this personal 'space' against a broader good, and be aware of the hindrances of a small ego towards larger needs. After all if the following quote from J Paul Getty holds true "Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells", I should be doing the people who I approach a good service.