The little yellow bicycle

One difficulty I face when engaging sandplay therapy with my clients at the children's home is how to say "No" when the children ask to keep a certain little toy or figurine. One has to muster a firmness of heart to counteract the coy and wanting look in their eyes.

Sandplay therapy involves the display of a whole array of little toys, figurines and symbols which is very attractive to look at. The client selects items to be placed in the tray to create a sand picture or story. Most children have a moving tray ie. a running drama or story. In early trays the pictures represent their outer world ie. the present living conditions/story; whilst in later trays stories from their subconscious world may emerge (which they themselves can be oblivious of). The children often uncannily select the same symbols repeatedly for several sessions. It is therefore not uncommon for them to be attached to certain item and ask to keep them. We must also not forget that these children come from very deprived financial and social family background which was the reason they landed in the home in the first place.

My firm response has always been based on the need to share and to keep the collection intact for the benefit of all.  Despite that I had to solicit the help of the in house social worker once to retrieve an item from a very young client who was also duly reprimanded. Sometimes it is very hard on me to say no because it costs very little for me to replace the items and my heart goes out for them.

Yesterday a boy asked me "Will you be very angry if this bicycle is lost?" whilst toying with the miniature bicycle. I told him I won't be upset if it was lost but would be if someone takes it without asking. "That means you will be angry lah" he remarked. Later a girl asked to keep the piece of purplish pink chalk which she had used to colour every inch of a white sheet with vigour. Her presenting issue was selective mutism and she had started conversing with me and opening up. Shouldn't I reinforce with a small harmless gift? Again I had to be firm as I could see the consequence of  a crowd  streaming in to ask for things.

As I walked out of the Home's premise I noticed  a row of cars parked along the road including Merc, BMW and Lexus. Opposite the Children's Home is a Montessori Branch. I presume a Montessori session, the fees of which may be equivalent to the monthly wage of another person, is about to end. My mind reflected on the little yellow miniature bicycle, the piece of purplish pink chalk, my little clients and the children who will be streaming out of Montessori into the luxury cars.