A Valuable Mix

In the children's home where I practise sandplay therapy I have amongst my clients a pair of siblings, a girl 11 and her younger brother 10 years old. They are from a single parent family who has no means to raise them. Both kids have behavioral problems whilst the girl was under school disciplinary action and suspended from school for a couple of weeks.

It is quite startling that the siblings have similarities in the way they engage in sandplay. It is common for children to play with the sand awhile before selecting symbols and little figures to place inside the tray. Some children move the sand briefly whilst others play with the sand a bit longer. Most are drawn by the great variety of little figures and miniatures being displayed and eager to build a sandstory. The common behaviour of this pair of siblings is the way they engage with the sand. Both spend a long long time moving the sand, pushing, sifting, sprinkling and repeatedly expressing how they love the sand. The girl once described the feel of the sand as "Like someone touching me" and declared that if she is rich she would use all her money to buy sand. Her brother also declared his great love for the sand and remarked "I want to bring the sand home". Another similarity is when they invited me to participate with them. The girl wanted me to engage the sand with her during her 4th sandplay session whilst her brother wanted me to build a sandtray picture with him during his second session. The girl invited me to place my hands in the tray, to feel the sand and she then sprinkled sand gently onto my hands. There seems to be some transference going on.

My encounter with the brother at the last session evoked a transference and cross transference, hence a co-transference could have taken place. It was a rather touching experience for me. The boy had created 2 sand stories. He then removed all the items, leveled the sand and declared "now it's your turn". I picked a little house and some trees and plants. He then took out a little green car from his pocket (which his mum gave him) and placed it next to the house. Very soon he began suggesting items that should be included and I was like, "Shall WE put this and that as well?" ie. it became our tray not mine.  He wanted to include an ambulance "If we need help," he said and included a little kerosene lamp "to light up when it is dark". It was like inviting me to help him build a safer world and I could only respond with love.

As Katherine Bradway, an influential sandplay therapist in San Francisco puts it "both may find hooks in the other on which to project, or hang the unused parts of themselves.....And both respond to these projections"

"The therapy relationship is a mix, a complex mix, a valuable mix"