Recovering a past in Taiwan

Taiwan though so near has never appealed to me. If not for Tiger's aggressive ticket promotions I still may not have stepped foot there. Perhaps I was put off long ago by their long drawn TV serials way back in the 70s and 80s that took a whole episode to progress a wee bit or that irritating high pitched Princess in the 还珠格格 drama. I also could not comprehend the throwing of chairs in Parliament and ascribed it to a legacy from Chiang Kai Shek's gangster connections and mannerism.

You see when I was in secondary school I loved to read Han Su Yin, a pro-left intellectual. I was  enthralled by her books and stories that traced the turbulent period of Chinese modern history. Chiang Kai Shek and his croonies were inevitably casted in bad light. Han Su Yin distrusted CKS. My bad impression of CKS was reinforced when I took Chinese Modern History at A level and years later when I watched historical TV dramas from China which were definitely more authentic, and needless to say didn't have much good things to say about CKS.

Well, what slight idealism of youth and opined prejudices soon  faded with years of pragmatism and forgetfulness. A cheap Tiger Airway ticket soon found me for the first time in Taipei. Amazingly, loads of childhood and teenage memories resurfaced when I visited the Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall. But first of all I must not forget to mention that my visit to the Chiang Kai Shek memorial was a joke. As it was just one MRT station away from our hotel we decided to go there after our return from Hualien which was in the late afternoon. We would have made it if not for the lure of a Japanese food joint along the way. After the meal as I approached the CKS memorial I could see the huge statue from afar. But as I neared it I watched in aghast the huge doors of the memorial slowly drawing close. Stumped we stood in the middle of the big square and then heard heavy marching footsteps.  We were standing right in the path of the changing guards.  Haha CKS not only didn't need my respect he sent guards to tell me to get lost.  So much for reconciliation.

My visit to the Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall turned out to be more than just engaging. Inside there are exhibits of historical items mainly old photographs of SYS & historical events, treaties, agreements, constitutions etc. Looking closely at those photographs reminded me of my teenage interest in modern Chinese history and I remembered there was a phase in my life when I could be passionate about certain things. As I entered another room a large portrait of SYS stared at me. Those talking eyes seemed so familiar. Somehow a sense of inexplicable nostalgia gripped me. As I drifted from room to room it suddenly came back to me where I had seen those eyes before; and I was really really shocked that it was pushed so far back in my mind and almost completely obliterated.

When I was 3 years old my parents and my elder siblings moved to KL. I was left in the care of my maternal grandma in Singapore until I was 5+. My grandma and aunty stayed on the second floor of a shop house at Ang Siang Hill. The whole of the huge front living area of this second floor shop house belonged to some clan or association. The second floor landing had 2 doors, one leading to the  association, the second to my grandma's living quarters. My grandma also maintained the cleanliness of the association's premise for a wage I believed. Inside this huge room, on the big wall opposite the windows fronting the street hanged a big photograph of Sun Yat Sen. The picture should be about  two by one meter (or at least in the eyes of a toddler). Rows of wooden chairs lined the 2 other walls. It came back to me, all these images including a tall wooden rack with hooks for hats or clothes. Yes, there was where my aunty hanged the feather duster, my feather duster. It also came back to me that I was rather afraid when left alone in the room with this big man staring down at me. How strange these images all flooded me when they never seemed to exist before.

In last Saturday's "The Big Idea" page, Chinese philosophy don, Robin Wang said "Instead of buying the most beautiful condominium units, buy tickets to see the world so that you can return to your authentic self and not just be a person with artificial desires."

I recovered a past during this trip.