Penthouse & Pent up Feelings

In today's papers there is an article on penthouse,explaining what kinds of housing are termed as penthouses. "What?" I thought to myself " I knew what a penthouse is when I was 12 ".

My memory was jolted to that day at school in Primary 6. I came from quite a prestigious girls' school in KL. The school had a streaming system from primary 2 onwards based on yearly academic performance. So if you were placed in "A" class you were the cream of your cohort in school. Within each class there was further streaming into A, B and C groups with children in each group sitting in a cluster. That day the topic was on types of housing. Having described each type of housing the teacher asked pupils to name the type of accomodation they lived in. So pupils in the C group stayed largely in flats or shop houses whilst the majority in A group named terrace houses. I remembered quite clearly when one of the girls in A group said "penthouse", the teacher whined in surprise. This teacher was famous for favoring children whose mothers bestowed her with home baked cakes and jellies. From her whine I knew a "penthouse" must be really gorgeous. The teacher then explained to the class that a penthouse is an apartment that occupies the whole floor of a building. I wasn't suitably impressed as I couldn't figure why it was a  big deal to stay in a huge space in mid air. From that day onwards however the girl who lived in a "penthouse" moved a notch or two up the teacher's pet list.

It is strange how such memories are etched in childhood memories. I have a friend who bought a Mercedes a few years ago. Whilst taking a joy ride in her new car she explained to me she bought it to fulfill a childhood wish. She had watched her classmates being fetched to and fro in Mercedes. She just loved the car and told herself she would get one when she grew up. Mind you this was from a lady who would not spend a single cent on any branded stuff. She explained the Mercedes was her one and only weakness and having fulfilled her dream she will not bother too much what her next car would be.

Back to the penthouse, I am rather surprised today that the penthouse discussion in class was lodged in my memory all these years. It makes wonder about my subconscious. Certainly there was harbor of jealousy which my conscience frowned upon. Jealousy was forbidden both at home and in school. Only evil people feel jealous as in Cinderella's wicked sisters or Snow White's wicked step mother or Joseph's jealous brothers. So no I could not be angry with the teacher for favoring the rich because then I would be jealous. Does that explain why even today I am still struggling with over sensitivity to perceived unfairness.  Would it have been better if someone told me then it was alright to be angry with the teacher. When anger was accepted then perhaps jealousy would have dissipated.

Alternatively like my friend I should go and get myself a penthouse, a cheap one. (Apparently one development of shoe box units included so called penthouse units with floor area of 635 sq ft!) Unfortunately I missed the 11 Jan midnight dateline, before the property control measures took effect. So without a penthouse I continue to struggle with my pent up feelings.