I am Joe's .....

People of my generation may remember that Readers Digest was a popular magazine in the sixties and seventies. Our family subscribed to the magazine in the hope that the children could improve their English. Of particular interest to me was the regular feature on certain part of the body entitled "I am Joe's ....." (Brains or stomach or heart etc). The feature was written in the voice of the body part explaining its function. What was more interesting was how the organ expressed its dismay over Joe's neglect or unhealthy habits which were detrimental to its well being. In a first person's voice the body part would express frustrations or anger at Joe's ignorance and inability to take care of his own body.

This feature could not be more relevant today than before. This is especially true for the youngsters who live a lifestyle as if there is no tomorrow. They deprive their body from adequate rest, intoxicate themselves, stretch their limits; all in the name of grasping opportunities to achieve success or maximizing experiences in life. Not listening to their body they also lose touch of themselves.When you read the life story of a body part in first person, it evoked in you sympathy and respect for your body. So for example when Joe's heart cringed in pain because Joe wasn't watching his stress level and suffered a heart attack you really felt its pain and began to appreciate your own heart.

In Jungian psychology the shadow represents the unconscious aspect of our personality that our conscious ego can not recognise or refuses to acknowledge. When repressed and ignored too much it may break out in pathological behaviour. But what tall order to get people of today's world to listen to their unconscious mind. What I am lamenting is, even the tangible, physical, obvious, highly visible body that we walk around in is being ignored. ( Gosh I must be really exhausted having to watch over my husband like a hawk so that he does not consume things detrimental to his health ! ). Aaah.. now I know why the article talks about a MAN's body part (ie. Joe's this and that; mind you NOT Josephine's). It is because men are bigger culprits in denying their body of respect.

Incidentally Thich Nhat Hanh describes our high-consumption lifestyle as a means to avoid acknowledging our body, our mind and our feelings. So even when we have some time on hand instead of spending some quiet time listening to ourselves, we are afraid maybe to face the "vacuum" inside us. So we go out and try to fill the void by buying new and exciting things be it consumer goods, food or excitement and addictions in their various forms.

The good news is once we start allotting some "quiet time" on a daily basis, that becomes an addiction too, a good one that is. With that habit we may be able to hear the murmurings of the body parts within us as well. Who knows they may one day be saying "Good Job, Joe" or  more likely "Good Job Josephine" !

Penthouse & Pent up Feelings

In today's papers there is an article on penthouse,explaining what kinds of housing are termed as penthouses. "What?" I thought to myself " I knew what a penthouse is when I was 12 ".

My memory was jolted to that day at school in Primary 6. I came from quite a prestigious girls' school in KL. The school had a streaming system from primary 2 onwards based on yearly academic performance. So if you were placed in "A" class you were the cream of your cohort in school. Within each class there was further streaming into A, B and C groups with children in each group sitting in a cluster. That day the topic was on types of housing. Having described each type of housing the teacher asked pupils to name the type of accomodation they lived in. So pupils in the C group stayed largely in flats or shop houses whilst the majority in A group named terrace houses. I remembered quite clearly when one of the girls in A group said "penthouse", the teacher whined in surprise. This teacher was famous for favoring children whose mothers bestowed her with home baked cakes and jellies. From her whine I knew a "penthouse" must be really gorgeous. The teacher then explained to the class that a penthouse is an apartment that occupies the whole floor of a building. I wasn't suitably impressed as I couldn't figure why it was a  big deal to stay in a huge space in mid air. From that day onwards however the girl who lived in a "penthouse" moved a notch or two up the teacher's pet list.

It is strange how such memories are etched in childhood memories. I have a friend who bought a Mercedes a few years ago. Whilst taking a joy ride in her new car she explained to me she bought it to fulfill a childhood wish. She had watched her classmates being fetched to and fro in Mercedes. She just loved the car and told herself she would get one when she grew up. Mind you this was from a lady who would not spend a single cent on any branded stuff. She explained the Mercedes was her one and only weakness and having fulfilled her dream she will not bother too much what her next car would be.

Back to the penthouse, I am rather surprised today that the penthouse discussion in class was lodged in my memory all these years. It makes wonder about my subconscious. Certainly there was harbor of jealousy which my conscience frowned upon. Jealousy was forbidden both at home and in school. Only evil people feel jealous as in Cinderella's wicked sisters or Snow White's wicked step mother or Joseph's jealous brothers. So no I could not be angry with the teacher for favoring the rich because then I would be jealous. Does that explain why even today I am still struggling with over sensitivity to perceived unfairness.  Would it have been better if someone told me then it was alright to be angry with the teacher. When anger was accepted then perhaps jealousy would have dissipated.

Alternatively like my friend I should go and get myself a penthouse, a cheap one. (Apparently one development of shoe box units included so called penthouse units with floor area of 635 sq ft!) Unfortunately I missed the 11 Jan midnight dateline, before the property control measures took effect. So without a penthouse I continue to struggle with my pent up feelings.

All the Proponents on Happiness

Listened to a BBC forum on happiness. American positive psychologist Todd Kashdan said being curious is the key to happiness. Belgian environmental scientist Eric Lambin propounded how our lives can be enriched by contact with nature, and novelist Eva Hoffman's recipe for happiness is learning to value our time.

Kasdan talked about how being curious spurs our growth. Most of us are afraid to pursue interests or passions which may not be highly regarded by others. Instead of clinging on to familiarities, he suggested that people  should take the anxiety out of uncertainty and create a sense of wonder in discovering things. When the other panelists queried whether his strategy meant a constant seeking of stimulation externally, he clarified that it is not confined to external things but  includes curiosity about our own thoughts.

 Eric Lambin alluded that happiness experienced being with nature could have biological origins. Our fore fore fathers would feel secure and well provided in a landscape where there was natural water resource, bountiful grassland and vegetation. Thus gardening brings about a sense of well being. Another way to enrich our life is being with animals or pets as they too are part of nature.

Lastly novelist and philosopher writer Eva Hoffman talked about learning to value time. The manner in which time is constructed, used and lived will make a difference in our well being. If we can learn to savour each experience spontaneously we will not lose the experience. This is in contrast to a mindset of deploying time with utmost efficiency where time is money and where each moment has to be exploited to the fullest. In using time in this manner we are unable to reflect and "experience the experience". An optimum sense of well being can be achieved when one is fully engaged in a purposeful activity (purposeful as deemed by you yourself even if others may consider it a waste of time). She believes that being truly in the here and now engaging in each activity will create  that  state of flow. 

I think about the above advocates and compare them to the cornerstones of Choice Theory which are the 5 genetically driven needs.In addition to the basic survival needs the other 4 psychological needs are 1) belonging/connection/love, 2) fun/learning, 3) freedom/autonomy and 4) power/achievement.

Looks like there are endless proponents on "happiness".

I guess Kasdan's curiosity is similar to the 'fun/learning' of Choice Theory whilst Eric Lambin's being with nature has some semblance of 'belonging/connection/love'. I feel that Choice theory's 'freedom/autonomy' does in fact feature in all the advocates of the above mentioned forum. For as long as one is not crippled by people's opinion and has independence one will be free to indulge in whatever curiosity one fancies, languish in nature and will be able to go with the flow undictated by the time demands of others.