A old man dropped in during our Chinese calligraphy class to understand our teacher's style of teaching. Though interested to join our class he said he couldn't make it on Tuesdays as he has to take care of his grandchild whilst his wife is engaged. Our teacher told him not to be disappointed and advised him to join us when he can or maybe a year or two later when his grandchild is older. His response surprised us all. He said in all seriousness he can drop dead any time as his circle of friends is growing smaller and smaller.
I was amused and chuckled. Then I realised I was the only one in class who thought it a joke. First I wondered why no one finds his remarks funny. Then I asked myself what was so amusing about what he said. On deeper thought, if you are 70+ and people in your circle drop dead suddenly, it is difficult not to think about your own impending expiry and how it can happen anytime. It is definitely not funny and I was really being insensitive and even rude. How does one live life with zest whilst uncertainties abound?
Reading the newspapers can be very depressing too, Greek tragedy/European crisis, Arab spring turning into economic winter, war/terrorism, unemployment , heinous crimes, corruption, accidents, natural disaster, moral decadence etc etc. Of course it is depressing because newspapers are supposed to report events which is out of the ordinary. They do not report the ordinary or focus on the pleasant things going on in this world (although they do that occasionally). How does one live with zest whilst others suffer?
A lady was watching the sunset in the balcony of her house. Her husband joined her after the news on TV ended. He told her people are being killed in the streets of Syria. The lady asked her husband "Why are you disturbing my sunset?". After a pause she asked herself "How can I enjoy the sunset whilst people are dying in the streets of Syria?". After a longer pause she said to herself "The sunset is beautiful. People are dying in the streets of Syria."
Presence amidst Impermanence.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
National Neurosis
My parents were not rich but they did leave behind a bit of money; not enough to make each of us siblings rich but would surely have made their own lives more enjoyable if they had spent it. However my mum who held the family purse string was insecure about money and had also intended to leave a little bit of money as insurance for her children. So instead of spending on travel or some other luxuries they measured each item of expenditure on its neccesity etc. The habits or insecurity of their generation has passed on to us the baby boomers.
Reading an article in today's papers threw some light on what might have been a subtle indoctrination over the last half century or a collective neurosis if you will. First of all, do you know that unlike other countries like Hong Kong proceeds from land sales by the Singapore government goes directly into our reserves and is not considered as income for the year. This is despite the sale of freehold land as leasehold land of 99 years or 60 years and premium is collected from developers to extend land leases. At least some form of capital gain or revaluation gain can be considered as income. What is the significance of recognising it as income? This will impact the amount that can be allocated for social expenditure each year.
In addition the constitution states that only a maximum of 50% of net investment income from GIC, MAS and Temasek Holdings can be considered as government income. Most analysts that Business Times spoke to feel that the actual percentage considered as income hovers only around 30 to 40% of net returns of these institutions.
If you have missed the interesting interview ST journalist Susan Long had with the ex-GIC chief economist Yeoh Lam Keong in the article "Singapore's social policies are not future ready" here are some interesting extracts:
"He notes that the Government's spending, as a share of GDP, of around 17 per cent is among the lowest in the developed world, compared to 35-40 per cent in most OECD countries and 25-30 per cent in other advanced Asian economies.
'Our current levels of spending are low even by our own historical standards of up to 25 per cent of GDP seen in the mid-1980s and early 1990s. These are levels of a public spending we can afford to return to while maintaining competitiveness and long-term fiscal sustainability,' he says.
He applauds the Government's pledge announced by Health Minister Gan Kim Yong to double health-care expenditure from $4 billion to $8 billion in 2017, which will raise it from 1.5 per cent to 2.2 per cent of GDP. However, he points out, Taiwan was already spending 3.5 to 4 per cent of GDP on health care in 2001.
Notwithstanding the superiority of quality and efficiency of Singapore's health care, he asks: 'Is it enough for Singapore, which is steadily ageing, to spend half of Taiwan's 2001 budget in 2017?' "
Now you know what I mean when I talk about the national neurosis of perceived financial insecurity. It filters down to our parents and ourselves. At least my mum was not so paranoid as to view necessity as luxury. For the government however some form of psycho analysis is urgently called for when it can not see social obligations as neccesities.
Reading an article in today's papers threw some light on what might have been a subtle indoctrination over the last half century or a collective neurosis if you will. First of all, do you know that unlike other countries like Hong Kong proceeds from land sales by the Singapore government goes directly into our reserves and is not considered as income for the year. This is despite the sale of freehold land as leasehold land of 99 years or 60 years and premium is collected from developers to extend land leases. At least some form of capital gain or revaluation gain can be considered as income. What is the significance of recognising it as income? This will impact the amount that can be allocated for social expenditure each year.
In addition the constitution states that only a maximum of 50% of net investment income from GIC, MAS and Temasek Holdings can be considered as government income. Most analysts that Business Times spoke to feel that the actual percentage considered as income hovers only around 30 to 40% of net returns of these institutions.
If you have missed the interesting interview ST journalist Susan Long had with the ex-GIC chief economist Yeoh Lam Keong in the article "Singapore's social policies are not future ready" here are some interesting extracts:
"He notes that the Government's spending, as a share of GDP, of around 17 per cent is among the lowest in the developed world, compared to 35-40 per cent in most OECD countries and 25-30 per cent in other advanced Asian economies.
'Our current levels of spending are low even by our own historical standards of up to 25 per cent of GDP seen in the mid-1980s and early 1990s. These are levels of a public spending we can afford to return to while maintaining competitiveness and long-term fiscal sustainability,' he says.
He applauds the Government's pledge announced by Health Minister Gan Kim Yong to double health-care expenditure from $4 billion to $8 billion in 2017, which will raise it from 1.5 per cent to 2.2 per cent of GDP. However, he points out, Taiwan was already spending 3.5 to 4 per cent of GDP on health care in 2001.
Notwithstanding the superiority of quality and efficiency of Singapore's health care, he asks: 'Is it enough for Singapore, which is steadily ageing, to spend half of Taiwan's 2001 budget in 2017?' "
Now you know what I mean when I talk about the national neurosis of perceived financial insecurity. It filters down to our parents and ourselves. At least my mum was not so paranoid as to view necessity as luxury. For the government however some form of psycho analysis is urgently called for when it can not see social obligations as neccesities.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Mother's Day
When my daughter asked me what gift I fancied for Mother's Day, I told her I want an all year round present instead of a one-off thingy on the one-day thingy of the year. I want her to co-operate to keep her room neater to save my frustration everytime I clean it. She thought it was too much to ask for and settled with a dinner.
Ever since my mum passed away my side of the family has not celebrated Mother's Day jointly. My husband's family still continues with the tradition of dining together, usually a week earlier or later to beat the crowd. I used to crack my head to buy my mother-in-law a present until I ran out of ideas and stopped. This one-day thingy when everyone tries to make the mothers in the family happy has become a tradition to the delight of restaurants, spas, hotels etc. Other than it being too commercialised it is quite useful in that it reminds people to reflect on their relationship with their parents and their children. So the newspaper without fail carries tributes from readers. This year the journalist who writes about her mum makes you feel she was tasked to do so this year ie. its her turn. She rambles irrelevantly about her mum's growing up years and talks mundanely about mum being very liberal in bringing up children, respecting their choices and decisions etc. It is not an interesting article, not really worth reading in short.
On second thought however, maybe it is her hidden intention to say "Hey, what is this hoohah all about?" Perhaps there is really nothing very interesting to relate or nothing to be emotional about. Then again maybe there is stuff which is not appropriate to talk about and since she has to be positive the list is short!. If you think about it, you only appreciate your mum more or understands her feelings better when you become a mum/parent yourself.
My own relationship with my mother was a love/blame/guilt/regret/gratitude mixed pot of feelings. From the time I was an adolescent beginning to read psychoanalytical stuff to understand the root of my insecurities, I have acquired the blaming attitude, possibly as a defensive mechanism, defending my inability to overcome my weaknesses. Gratitude was not so prominent in those early years even though acts of filial piety predominated out of cultural upbringing. Love and blame rolled along throughout the years, love when you ran "home" to her through all the ups and downs in adult life; blame when you fought the inner battle of anxieties and despondencies. In later years after becoming a mother and as your children grew from babies to children to adolescents, gratitude towards your mum surfaced and grew deeper. It dawned on you perhaps for the first time where she was coming from, why she felt the way she felt, why the advice which seemed so jaded was after all relevant and how you could have hurt her feelings. You began to recall snipets of advice and long forgotten conversation flashed back. That was when the regret and guilt set in. Appreciation and regret mingled when you marveled at the never ending care and concern which now extended to your spouse and children, and regret tormented when you realised too late you should have given more of your time and care. Despite this "awakening" the blame still lurked like a haunting ghost. In recent years however when you reflect upon the impact your behaviour, values and weaknesses impact your own children's character and values, you begin to develop empathy for your mother and this "blaming" ghost begins to diminish. You now understand it is never easy to be a mother; for loving your children alone is not enough and wisdom (which god knows where you can acquire from) is ever ever so important.
Very so often these wisdom came a bit too late.
Ever since my mum passed away my side of the family has not celebrated Mother's Day jointly. My husband's family still continues with the tradition of dining together, usually a week earlier or later to beat the crowd. I used to crack my head to buy my mother-in-law a present until I ran out of ideas and stopped. This one-day thingy when everyone tries to make the mothers in the family happy has become a tradition to the delight of restaurants, spas, hotels etc. Other than it being too commercialised it is quite useful in that it reminds people to reflect on their relationship with their parents and their children. So the newspaper without fail carries tributes from readers. This year the journalist who writes about her mum makes you feel she was tasked to do so this year ie. its her turn. She rambles irrelevantly about her mum's growing up years and talks mundanely about mum being very liberal in bringing up children, respecting their choices and decisions etc. It is not an interesting article, not really worth reading in short.
On second thought however, maybe it is her hidden intention to say "Hey, what is this hoohah all about?" Perhaps there is really nothing very interesting to relate or nothing to be emotional about. Then again maybe there is stuff which is not appropriate to talk about and since she has to be positive the list is short!. If you think about it, you only appreciate your mum more or understands her feelings better when you become a mum/parent yourself.
My own relationship with my mother was a love/blame/guilt/regret/gratitude mixed pot of feelings. From the time I was an adolescent beginning to read psychoanalytical stuff to understand the root of my insecurities, I have acquired the blaming attitude, possibly as a defensive mechanism, defending my inability to overcome my weaknesses. Gratitude was not so prominent in those early years even though acts of filial piety predominated out of cultural upbringing. Love and blame rolled along throughout the years, love when you ran "home" to her through all the ups and downs in adult life; blame when you fought the inner battle of anxieties and despondencies. In later years after becoming a mother and as your children grew from babies to children to adolescents, gratitude towards your mum surfaced and grew deeper. It dawned on you perhaps for the first time where she was coming from, why she felt the way she felt, why the advice which seemed so jaded was after all relevant and how you could have hurt her feelings. You began to recall snipets of advice and long forgotten conversation flashed back. That was when the regret and guilt set in. Appreciation and regret mingled when you marveled at the never ending care and concern which now extended to your spouse and children, and regret tormented when you realised too late you should have given more of your time and care. Despite this "awakening" the blame still lurked like a haunting ghost. In recent years however when you reflect upon the impact your behaviour, values and weaknesses impact your own children's character and values, you begin to develop empathy for your mother and this "blaming" ghost begins to diminish. You now understand it is never easy to be a mother; for loving your children alone is not enough and wisdom (which god knows where you can acquire from) is ever ever so important.
Very so often these wisdom came a bit too late.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Feeding Religious Perceptions
The week before last I was mired in gloomy disillusionment over my job. Out of the blue a ray of sunshine cleared the dark gloomy sky. A chance meeting with the mother of an ex-student last week lifted my spirits. At times like these you are drawn to believing in the divine which somehow always recharges your battery in the nick of time,
Is this what is often termed as God's Mercy when something good happens? What if something bad happens? It is called God's trial I suppose. It is quite a different concept in Buddhist teachings. You are taught to be aware of your feelings be it bad or good and not to be affected by them, reason being they are impermanent in nature. If one feeds the continuous hunger for emotional food, there will inevitably be sufferings. So in my case for example my gloomy feelings should not have affected me in the first instance if I have not been so focused on the big "I". Both religious concepts are plausible.
The other day I heard over podcast the plight of both Christians and Muslims in refugee camps in Nigeria after being driven out of their home towns because of the religious strifes and killings. It is quite heart wrenching to hear how both sides mourn the loss of loved ones and homes. I just feel very perplexed why there is so much hatred towards people who do not share one's belief. This is another form of craving isn't it? The crave to feed one's thoughts and perceptions.
On yet another day I tuned to the "Thinking Atheist" podcast and heard with amusement (maybe a bit wicked on my part) the frustrations and cynicsm expressed by both a Christian and an atheist debating on whether there is morality without a Christian God. Both sounded as if they wanted to tear their hair out. The atheist implored for logic whilst the Christian kept asking "how do you know your reasoning is valid?" and maintained that God is the ultimate authority for reasoning. I see both can argue until the cow comes home to no conclusion because they are talking on different planes. How I wish one day our world will be so open and enlightened that all the young of this world will be taught the teachings of various religions. After that they can choose to align with the religion that is comfortable for them. Above all they must also learn to avoid the crave to feed on their perceptions and taught never ever to resort to killings and insults to feed this hunger.
Is this what is often termed as God's Mercy when something good happens? What if something bad happens? It is called God's trial I suppose. It is quite a different concept in Buddhist teachings. You are taught to be aware of your feelings be it bad or good and not to be affected by them, reason being they are impermanent in nature. If one feeds the continuous hunger for emotional food, there will inevitably be sufferings. So in my case for example my gloomy feelings should not have affected me in the first instance if I have not been so focused on the big "I". Both religious concepts are plausible.
The other day I heard over podcast the plight of both Christians and Muslims in refugee camps in Nigeria after being driven out of their home towns because of the religious strifes and killings. It is quite heart wrenching to hear how both sides mourn the loss of loved ones and homes. I just feel very perplexed why there is so much hatred towards people who do not share one's belief. This is another form of craving isn't it? The crave to feed one's thoughts and perceptions.
On yet another day I tuned to the "Thinking Atheist" podcast and heard with amusement (maybe a bit wicked on my part) the frustrations and cynicsm expressed by both a Christian and an atheist debating on whether there is morality without a Christian God. Both sounded as if they wanted to tear their hair out. The atheist implored for logic whilst the Christian kept asking "how do you know your reasoning is valid?" and maintained that God is the ultimate authority for reasoning. I see both can argue until the cow comes home to no conclusion because they are talking on different planes. How I wish one day our world will be so open and enlightened that all the young of this world will be taught the teachings of various religions. After that they can choose to align with the religion that is comfortable for them. Above all they must also learn to avoid the crave to feed on their perceptions and taught never ever to resort to killings and insults to feed this hunger.
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